Drum roll, please...
A guy gets a new job at a delicatessen. One night he comes home and he tells his wife, "Honey, every day at work, I get this uncontrollable urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer."
"My God!" she replies, "For heavens sake, don't do it!"
A few weeks pass, and the man comes home from work with a sad look on his face. His wife notices it and asks, "Honey, what's wrong?"
"You know how I told you about that urge I had to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"
"Good heavens, you didn't!" she shouts in shock. He nods his head ashamedly. "What happened!?" she begs.
"She and I were both fired."