I'm having doubts, trying to work out what I'm doing, and you tell me it's just a phase.

How do you know? Maybe this is the real me.
Maybe I've finally realized that I'm not doing what I want.
What makes you so sure that it will pass?

What if I don't want to continue the way it was before?
I think it's time to shake things up, see how they settle. let the chips fall where they may.

No, I haven't yet figured out what I want.
But I have a funny feeling you won't like it.
You'll probably haul me in for a checkup.
Or lock me up. Or shut me up.
But you know what?
I'm getting sick of living your way 'just because'.
I think it's time to find out where Istand in this life.

This is not a mere whim.
My life is not going to be about your random decisions.
I want to do this.
I need to do this.
Let me do this.
(it's not just a passing phase.)

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Too often in troubled-families-in-denial, the sanest one gets dumped on. That old dysfunctional family pattern (DFP) happens, with members getting pushed into various roles that perpetuate the pattern. John Bradshaw psychobabble aside, these patterns really do get acted out…sounds like you’re the one who been assigned as the punching bag/eye of the hurricane. They can't vent on your sister, wouldn't be prudent; she might hit'm with the TV. And she's busy with her own role (for which her mental instability makes her well suited). By rationalizing your sister's violent, self-destructive acting-out as a phase, your mother avoids a lot extremely painful healing work. Without the work…well, it all just goes round and round and round. Ouch.

Be this as it may, putting you in the role of ventee is totally unjust, unhealthy, and wrong. You need not stand for it, you certainly don't deserve it, and you have every right and responsibility to protect yourself. You probably already know this, but, being a survivor of a crazed family with a very psychotic central person myself, I know a troubled family can’t muster the support you need. So I root for your health, I root for your transcendence, your self-actualization, and I applaud your ability to access the situation and say, "This ain't right!"

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