I don't give money to churches
because if they are really the agents of an all-seeing, all knowing, all powerful deity I feel the least it should be able to do is fund itself.
I don't give money to homeless
people, if I had that much free time
I would have figured out a way to make some money
I don't "click here
to go home
", It doesn't seem to matter how many times I click there, I'm still at my fuckin' desk
I don't use "conditioner
", "Conditioner" sounds like the job title of the person who puts all the fine print
I don't sign on the dotted line. Due to recent advances in printing technology
most of the lines are solid
, that or I have to sign in a box. I don't know what types of documents are so sacred
that my signature needs to be encapsulated
from the rest of the data
. However a box does have the advantage
of being easily pointed out to a half-witted jury
I don't "kick up my heels", "take a load off" or "make myself at home"
I don't take my shoes off when entering peoples homes. I hate that people assume that whatever I've been walking around on all day is so repugnant that, by putting onto their carpet
, would befoul their homes. "Why yes, I have
been walking around in raw sewage
all day, why do you ask?" Buy a steam cleaner
I don't "surf
". Clicking on web pages has about as much to do with surfing as watching all episodes of the Star Wars Trilogy
has to do with competing in a Triathalon
I don't "eat shit" "go fuck myself" or "fuck off". If people truly wanted to observe these kind of activities they'd have better luck "surfing the web".
I don't "take a chill". Doesn't it bother you that most people who tell you to "take a chill" aren't cool
enough to spare one?
I don't seek "permanent employment
". In a world where we have "downsizing
", lay-offs, at-will-employment, and a company going bankrup
t every ten minutes the one thing I've learned is that no employment is "permanent" we need to stop recruiters from using this kind of misleading language.
I don't drive
. Living in a town with a half-way decent public transportation
system and already havily clogged streets I don't feel it nessecary (or even convenient
, or financialy sound) to add to the mess just to get someplace a few minutes sooner. Too many people equate their cars with their egos
. I am not so insecure in myself that I need to compensate for some self-percieved lack with some over-waxed, pollution
making, big metal dick