In my short life, I have spent so much time breezing through lying through anything too painful to admit. I don't know what other people do, but for me honesty is one of the most important things in my life. It hurts, it hurts bad, when you think back. All those lies, all those falsities, and why? Because it's easier, easier than accepting the often painful truth. I'm not going to come up with any examples, because I'm pretty sure all of us have these issues.

I've always tried to be a self critical person. I dearly love myself, but life is hard, and I have - in the past - lied to make it easy. I was a completely compulsive liar, in every way, for no reason. Honesty is a beautiful, and yet rock hard, unyielding thing. It can't be tainted, or moved or changed, it only has it's original form. A half truth isn't honesty, only the full and outright is honesty. This is my belief at least.

I'm still confused about falling in love but I'm convinced that honesty is what made it possible. Other wise I couldn't have accepted the truth of how I felt. It was too painful, but I forced myself to see it.

I'll probably add to this as I think of other things that honesty means to me, but I just wanted to share. Thank you for your time.
"Nothing's so loud, as hearing when we lie
the truth is not kind
and she said, Neither am I "
Toad the Wet Sprocket

"I asked- Are you a lady?
Perhaps, she said, I may be "

After all the lies, the honesty was hard to take. She was leaving, she was bored and it was over. After months of deceit I was hoping for one more lie. But I was wrong. She packed up and left.
Just like that.

She had lied about ex-boyfriends (both who they were and the whole 'ex' part). She lied about how spent her days and how she spent our money. Her nights were with me and if that was false I could not tell the difference. I wanted her to stay, even as the lies unfolded before us. There was only so much that could stay hidden and it soon spilled out as well. Maybe she was tired of wrapping things up and making creative lies. She could have hidden the phone bills from me and other stories could have been made. She did not lack for creativity.

When days went by and I realized she was not coming back I started looking around the apartment for clues. I thought perhaps she had left some evidence of the truth that I was supposed to find. A letter? One of her sketches, parts of a story she had written? All of those were scattered about our place- my place- but nothing contained the symptom, there was no clear answer.

She sent me a letter six months later with an update on her life, how things were going, what was new. It seemed very appropriate if we had been cute penpals for the previous year or so.
In retrospect, that was probably the clue I was looking for right there.

Hon"es*ty (?), n. [OE. honeste, oneste, honor, OF. honest'e, onest'e (cf. F. honnetet'e), L. honestas. See Honest, a.]


Honor; honorableness; dignity; propriety; suitableness; decency.



She derives her honesty and achieves her goodness. Shak.


The quality or state of being honest; probity; fairness and straightforwardness of conduct, speech, etc.; integrity; sincerity; truthfulness; freedom from fraud or guile.

That we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 1 Tim. ii. 2.


Chastity; modesty.


To lay . . . siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife. Shak.

4. Bot.

Satin flower; the name of two cruciferous herbs having large flat pods, the round shining partitions of which are more beautiful than the blossom; -- called also lunary and moonwort. Lunaria biennis is common honesty; L. rediva is perennial honesty.

Syn. -- Integrity; probity; uprightness; trustiness; faithfulness; honor; justice; equity; fairness; candor; plain-dealing; veracity; sincerity.


© Webster 1913.

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