There is something to be said for honesty, it is a good thing, it's a necessary thing and I value it above most everything. However, I've noticed that people attempt far too often to use honesty as a quality of redemption for things that just aren't acceptable.

Let me note just a smathering of these, well, maybe just my 'favourite', it groups many together, anyway:

"Hey, I am really shallow.. I base my perception of people solely on their appearance and I can't stop myself.. but at least I'll admit it, right? At least I'm being honest! I think that should count for something."

It counts for nothing. So you're willing to admit you're an idiot, that's great, the problem being that most people who say this aren't about to change, they're just admitting it to make themselves feel better. Your honesty is so redeeming, so admirable, isn't it? Only to you, of course, and those like you.. I don't admire people who can be honest about some negative aspect of character unless they admit that they'd prefer it to be another way, and then make the effort to change it.

Admittance is generally only the first step of anything. You can admit to beating your spouse or children, and say you'd like to change that, control your anger, but then make no effort to alter the way you behave. Just because you're being honest with yourself, others, doesn't make the ignorant things that you say or do acceptable.

I also don't care to believe that people can't change something about themselves, especially if they really hate it. I used to be very judgemental about certain behaviours, but I've changed considerably. I always knew I was judging stupidly, and I even admitted that to myself, I was honest, but I knew it wasn't right. I made the effort to fix broken little parts of my human mind that didn't function quite so nicely as they might. I am without a doubt a better person for it, and have many friends that I wouldn't have been able to with my old mindset.

The next time you feel the overwhelming urge to utter those nice scapegoat words, "at least I'm honest about it, hate me if you like, it's just the way I am", perhaps you should reconsider exactly what it is your saying, but more specificially, why.

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