"Please, Ted, won't you come to bed? I'll help you look
for it in the morning
."

"Look, I know it's down here somewhere. Hmm... maybe
it's under the bed."

"But you've looked there at least a half-dozen times now."

"I'm aware of that, sweetheart.

"It's just that when I wake up to a hissing goat skull
on my nightstand, and it hops off and runs across
the floor on spider legs, I sleep a lot better knowing
where it ran off to."

Ted Johnson and his wife, from Max Cannon's Red Meat

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