A jug scull is the age old Aussie tradition of drinking an entire jug (that's a pitcher to you merkins out there) of beer, all in one go.
A traditional Australian pub jug holds approximately two imperial pints of beer, or slightly more if your publican is generous. This is no small amount of liquid to be cramming into your stomach all at once, especially if it's as cold and fizzy as most Aussie beer is when served. There are a number of things one can do to make this otherwise potentially traumatic or embarrassing experience go a lot easier for you, and let you complete your jug in record time.
- Let the beer warm up a little and lose some of its fizz first. Beer seems to be easiest to drink when it's slightly below room temperature, and flat. This will also reduce the likelihood of you rapidly refilling your own jug immediately after finishing it. It won't make it taste any better (quite the opposite in fact) but you're not doing this because you like the taste now are you?
- Have a few 'bevvies' and something good and greasy to eat an hour or so before you engage in your scull. This will help you relax your throat and stomach enough to get the beer in there smoothly and quickly without panicking. Spirits are the most sensible option for this purpose, as you won't be taking up as much valuable stomach real-estate as you would if you were drinking beer.
- Although it's intuitive to drink from the spout of the jug, it's a whole lot easier to hold the jug steady and drink quickly if you drink from the side.
- When commencing your scull, start slowly, and accelerate until you reach a tipping/swallowing speed you feel you can maintain. If you start off too suddenly, you're likely to choke and lose a lot of beer and a lot of respect.
- If you get halfway through your scull and feel like you really need a breath, block off the back of your mouth with your tongue, reduce the tilt on the jug, and breathe through your nose - preferably while still making a sort of swallowing action with your throat. THIS IS SEEN IN MOST CIRCLES AS CHEATING but it'll get you through a tough spot and it's definitely better than stopping altogether.
- Once you finish, don't make any sharp movements unless you're very confident in the strength of your stomach. Sloshing beer in your belly can very easily make you very unhappy very suddenly.
- Advanced Technique: If you have the muscle control for it, try to just hold your throat open and tip the beer straight down your throat without swallowing. If you're REALLY good you can actually BREATHE while doing this. If you're not, you'll drown in beer. Well done, you probably deserved it.
If you do a good jug scull in almost any Aussie pub, you'll instantly be seen as a good bloke, or at the very least a 'better' bloke - unless your drinking companions are 'posh bastards', in which case you should probably start a fist fight with them. They won't know how to defend themselves anyway, and then you can steal their sheilas.
Do not do more than one jug scull in a night. Do not drink any more alcohol until at least an hour after a jug scull, by which time you can see exactly how hard it's hit you. Do not do a jug scull if you've had much booze earlier in the night. Do not do a jug scull if you are a soft bastard or a soft sheila. Do not do a jug scull and then drive. Do not do a jug scull.