cracking = C = crapplet

crank vt.

[from automotive slang] Verb used to describe the performance of a machine, especially sustained performance. "This box cranks (or, cranks at) about 6 megaflops, with a burst mode of twice that on vectorized operations."

--The Jargon File version 4.3.1, ed. ESR, autonoded by rescdsk.

Crank (2006)
Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, sexuality, nudity and drug use
Written by: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Directed by: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Starring: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Efren Ramirez, Dwight Yoakam

A mindless video game-esque action movie written and directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor and featuring Jason Statham.

"I'm alive! I'M ALIVE!" -- Chev Chelios

Chev Chelios (Statham) is a syndicated assassin trying to get out of the business. When he wakes up after a job, he finds that he has been poisoned with "the Beijing Cocktail," also referred to as "the Chinese shit," a drug that will stop his heart in one hour unless he can keep his adrenaline flowing. Chelios then sets out to bid farewell to his girlfriend, Eve (Smart), exact revenge on Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), the rival assassin that poisoned him, and try to find an antidote.

The next 87 minutes are a string of increasingly bizarre events as Chelios tries to keep his heart beating. He snorts cocaine, beats the hell out of a group of his friends, leads police on a car chase through a shopping mall, injects himself with a syringe full of epinephrine, has sex with his girlfriend on a busy street, and engages in a fistfight while dangling from a helicopter, all presented in the most over-the-top, in-your-face manner possible.

Fun fact: Chev Chelios's heart is a recurring theme in the movie. The arcade game Berzerk,
which the movie tributes heavily, was the first video game to be connected to the death of a player
after two young men (one in 1981 and one in 1982) suffered fatal heart attacks after playing.

Regardless of its shortcomings, the movie does have its moments, including a largely unscripted scene (witnessed, according to Amy Smart, by over 200 people who hadn't been informed that a movie was being filmed, and followed by a standing ovation) in which Chelios talks his girlfriend into having sex with him in the middle of a public market, causing him to jubilantly shout "I'm alive! I'M ALIVE!" at the top of his lungs. Another enjoyable scene features Chelios, high as a kite on the drugs he's been using to stay alive, confronting an armed gang of assassins armed only with his fingers in the shape of a gun. He points his "finger pistol" at the leaders of the gang in turn, who assume that he is hallucinating, before turning to one of their lackeys and miming firing a gun while calmly making a gunshot noise with his mouth. The gang leaders stare in astonishment as the thug falls dead from a real gunshot wound delivered by another gang standing off-camera behind Chelios.

"Boosh." -- Chev Chelios

The movie's key plot point (Statham's character trying to retire from the assassination business) is clever, if somewhat overused; unfortunately, Crank is too hyperactive and schizophrenic to present it well, seeming to be someone's excuse to film a script that reads like an 80's arcade game (in fact, it continually pays homage to arcade games in general and the 1980 shooter Berzerk specifically). Passable if you're looking for mindless action for an hour and a half, but pretty forgettable otherwise. I won't spoil what little there is to the ending, but I'll just say that it's in keeping with the rest of the movie.

Crank (kr?nk), n. [OE. cranke; akin to E. cringe, cringle, crinkle, and to crank, a., the root meaning, probably, "to turn, twist." See Cringe.]

1. Mach.

A bent portion of an axle, or shaft, or an arm keyed at right angles to the end of a shaft, by which motion is imparted to or received from it; also used to change circular into reciprocating motion, or reciprocating into circular motion. See Bell crank.


Any bend, turn, or winding, as of a passage.

So many turning cranks these have, so many crooks. Spenser.


A twist or turn in speech; a conceit consisting in a change of the form or meaning of a word.

Quips, and cranks, and wanton wiles. Milton.


A twist or turn of the mind; caprice; whim; crotchet; also, a fit of temper or passion.

[Prov. Eng.]

Violent of temper; subject to sudden cranks. Carlyle.


A person full of crotchets; one given to fantastic or impracticable projects; one whose judgment is perverted in respect to a particular matter.



A sick person; an invalid.


Thou art a counterfeit crank, a cheater. Burton.

Crank axle Mach., a driving axle formed with a crank or cranks, as in some kinds of locomotives. -- Crank pin Mach., the cylindrical piece which forms the handle, or to which the connecting rod is attached, at the end of a crank, or between the arms of a double crank. -- Crank shaft, a shaft bent into a crank, or having a crank fastened to it, by which it drives or is driven. -- Crank wheel, a wheel acting as a crank, or having a wrist to which a connecting rod is attached.


© Webster 1913.

Crank (kr?nk), a. [AS. cranc weak; akin to Icel. krangr, D. & G. krank sick, weak (cf.D. krengen to careen). Cf. Crank, n.]


Sick; infirm.

[Prov. Eng.]

2. Naut.

Liable to careen or be overest, as a ship when she is too narrow, or has not sufficient ballast, or is loaded too high, to carry full sail.


Full of spirit; brisk; lively; sprightly; overconfident; opinionated.

He who was, a little before, bedrid, . . . was now crank and lusty. Udall.

If you strong electioners did not think you were among the elect, you would not be so crank about it. Mrs. Stowe.


© Webster 1913.

Crank, v. i. [See Crank, n. ]

To run with a winding course; to double; to crook; to wind and turn.

See how this river comes me cranking in. Shak.


© Webster 1913.

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