I just remember that time at the market
snuck up behind me
and jumped on my shopping cart
and rode down
aisle 5

You looked behind you and smiled back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us
if we could leave

Can't remember
what went wrong last September
though I'm sure you'd remind me
if you had to

Our love was
comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl
I'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say
"She's gonna be good for you"
they throw me
high fives

She says the Bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was
so dirty

life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was
comfortable
and
so broken in
she's perfect
so flawless
or so they say

she thinks I can't see the smiles
that she's faking
and poses for pictures
that aren't being taken

I loved you
grey sweatpants
no makeup
so perfect

Our love was
comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect
so flawless
I'm not impressed
I want you back

song by John Mayer

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable'."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow."

Comfturble

A proposed variant of the English word "comfortable," based upon what is arguably the most common mispronunciation in the whole of the language. Even in Merriam Webster's Dictionary, the pronunciation "k&m(p)(f)-t&(r)-b&l" is listed as acceptable. Apparently it has fallen into such common usage as to merit official recognition and acceptance.

The objection to this etymological development is that it defies the guidelines of phonetics to such an extent as to offend the sensibilities of any apt observer. Although many English words seem enigmatic in their pronunciation, they are accomodated clearly by rules that are taught to every elementary student. No such explanation appears to exist for the inversion of syllables in the word comfortable.

Observed frequently in the following contexts:

The solution would be the addition of the word comfturble into the official English lexicon, and possibly the designation of comfortable as archaic. Doing so would correct the discrepancy and preserve the integrity of the English language. In the meantime, I will be using the phonetically correct pronunciation of the word as it is spelled.

This is honestly toungue-in-cheek. I don't expect anyone will take my proposal seriously, and people are quite comfortable using the common pronunciation along with the common spelling. Mainly I want to point out an odd quirk in everyday use of language.


The downvoting of my writeup demonstrates that not only do many people use the forementioned pronunciation, they also feel very sensitive about it. That, and people are voting on their emotions and not on style.

Com"fort*a*ble (?), a. [OF. confortable.]

1.

Strong; vigorous; valiant.

[Obs.]

Wyclif.

Thy conceit is nearer death than thy powers. For my sake be comfortable; hold death a while at the arm's end. Shak.

2.

Serviceable; helpful.

[Obs.]

Be comfortable to my mother, your mistress, and make much of her. Shak.

3.

Affording or imparting comfort or consolation; able to comfort; cheering; as, a comfortable hope.

"Kind words and comfortable."

Cowper.

A comfortable provision made for their subsistence. Dryden.

4.

In a condition of comfort; having comforts; not suffering or anxious; hence, contented; cheerful; as, to lead a comfortable life.

My lord leans wondrously to discontent; His comfortable temper has forsook him: He is much out of health. Shak.

5.

Free, or comparatively free, from pain or distress; -- used of a sick person.

[U. S.]

 

© Webster 1913.


Com"fort*a*ble, n.

A stuffed or quilted coverlet for a bed; a comforter; a comfort.

[U. S.]

 

© Webster 1913.

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