Essentially, to catch the bus is to commit suicide.

Earlier this year during a period of morbidity, I spent a lot of time browsing the alt.suicide.holiday Usenet newsgroup, or, as its members affectionately call it, ASH. A place of discussion for those contemplating suicide, new members are generally greeted with a hearty "Welcome to ASH, sorry you're here." Often misunderstood and demonized, ASHers have become a little insular over the years and even developed their own vernacular. Psychiatrists are Pdocs, to come out of the closet is to confess to somebody that you're suicidal and to catch the bus (or sometimes train) is to kill yourself. That last one has always been my favorite. You see, ASHers like to think of their group as "a bus stop where several people have decided to stop and chat before deciding on whether or not to get on the bus," which is generally a good way to describe it.

Anyway, this brings me to my point here: while browsing the newsgroup one night, I found the most melancholy, resigned thing I think I'll ever read.

Its almost time to catch the train. I want to clean up my room first so no one else has to go through that depressing process, you know? Basically a series of events have put me with no other option. Debt, University grades, etc. I think Ill go with the car in garage deal.That looks most painless, pretty quick. Now I just have to write a note. Even death requires an essay. 

For weeks, I wondered who this person was and why they sounded so broken. It's the only time I've ever seen something on the internet and been shaken by just how ineffectual I felt. I don't know what happened to them, but I hope that they're happier now, or, barring that, at least at peace.


The post, for those who'd like to read it themselves, can be found here.
The quote about the bus stop is courtesy of the very informative ASH FAQ here.

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