This was-- is-- a newsgroup
concerned with the subject of suicide
. The thing about the group that makes it relatively unique is the fact that it cares about what the person considering suicide wants and/or needs, not about forcing them to live and taking their money. It does not take the idea that everyone has
to live as a given, but rather concentrates simply on helping people decide what is best for them. Those who are certain they want to die are given help in achieving that end. Those who at heart still want to live are directed to places where they can get help in making that possible. Those who are still uncertain are given help in deciding.
The thing that made alt.suicide.holiday famous was what developed out of it-- the ASH "methods file", which calmly describes every possible method, warns you about things that could go wrong and mistakes to avoid, alerts you to those methods that sound good but really aren't (such as slitting your wrists) and gives general dosage levels for most drugs. The idea is to prevent anyone from making things worse through a failed or miscalculated attempt, and to help free those who no longer receive benefit from staying here.
If you are seriously considering it, you need to go read their website at ash.xanthia.com. The methods file is there, as is other material. At the least, seeing the subject discussed totally rationally and with no base assumptions will calm you down and give you something closer to peace. Reading the site will not necessarily cause you to want death more than before, but it will guide you toward what in the end is most beneficial for you.