Here's a very quick and easy recipe for apple crumble.
Ad-break Apple Crumble
I invented this, and prepared it within an ad-break
(hence the name), the bugger
takes 20 minutes to cook though.
Hint, after dinner
, forget to turn your oven
off. Then it'll still be hot
if you want to make this for dessert
One Tablespoon of butter
(25g, a little under an ounce
One Tablespoon of sugar
, any type you have handy.
One Heaped Tablespoon of flour
, a typical prime-time
ad-break will have around 6 ads
of 30 seconds each, plus 2 short network
promos. If the ad-breaks are shorter/longer where you are, then you'll have to work faster
or more slowly.
Ad 1, Network Promo.
Fly into kitchen, find a small knife, find a peeler, find an oven-resistant bowl (soup bowls are good). Cut hand on messy cutlery drawer.
Ad 2, Ad for frozen fish with an annoying family.
Peel the apple within 30 seconds, cut self. Whine.
Ad 3, Patronizing youthful cola ad.
Spray bowl with cooking spray (edible oil), if you have any. Write "cooking spray" on your shopping list if you don't. Accidentally spray some into your eyes. (Alternatively, just lightly grease the bowl with butter, making sure to injure yourself somehow).
Ad 4, Health-care ad with smiley people on it.
Chop the apple into small pieces, discarding core, throw into bowl. Cut self again.
Ad 5, Yet another Car ad filmed under controlled conditions
Turn cutting board over, throw butter, sugar and flour on it. Get flour in eye.
Ad 6, Supposedly Sexy ad for chocolate.
Mix butter, flour, sugar together with your fingers until they have the consistency of breadcrumbs (this is the crumble). Get more crud in your eye.
Ad 7, Artful Jeans advertisement which I do not understand.
Place mess (crumble) on top of fruit in bowl. Cut self on mis-placed cutting knife.
Ad 8, Network Promo
Place in oven (180 degrees Celcuis, 350 degrees Farenheit, gas mark eleventy), burn hand on oven, grab another beer, cut hand on fridge, run back to couch. Continue watching sit-com for 20 minutes.
20 minutes later.
Remove from oven, burn hand.
Place bowl on plate, burn hand again.
Put some ice-cream or whipped cream on top if you have any, burn hand on freezer.
Go back to couch, burn lap/legs on hot bowl.
Eat, burn mouth.
It's GOOD ! Make it tonight.
Notes - you can use other fruits if you like. Berries are good. Durian probably isn't.
You may wish to add a very small amount of liquid/sugar to the fruit first.