Moreover:

  • You can tell the difference between Michigan Vernors and that of the rest of the free world.
  • You beat someone else up for holding up their right hand to show someone where they grew up.
  • You gave up on regularly getting a newspaper long, long ago.
  • You went through Heaven and Hell on your honeymoon.
  • You wonder what all of the hoopla with the recent "The greatest part about working in Michigan is Living in Michigan" radio ads is all about.
  • You know where you can find Christmas all year round.
  • You think "Crazy Bob's Fireworks" when you see "Indiana".

The above writeups are certainly accurate at pegging the lifestyle and outlook of a Michigander, but they fail to address several key points. In the spirit of completeness, I'd like to add the following. Some of these were culled from websites, but I'd say a good 60% or so, at the very least, were drawn from my own experiences and appear nowhere online (at least, that I could find). If I failed to address any other critical issues, please /msg me and I will add it after verifying its authenticity.

Weather

  • There are four (4) seasons you are familiar with: Winter, Deer, Red Wings, and Construction season. Winter overlaps with the other three.
  • Orange pylons signal the beginning of Construction Season, or as non-Michiganders call it, "summer."
  • You design your child's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  • You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 5 times. This week alone.
  • If someone bitches about the weather you say, "Just wait ten minutes, it'll change." And it does.
  • You decide to have a picnic this summer because it falls on a weekend.

Food and Drink

Entertainment

Sports and Leisure

  • You know where to buy octopi.
  • Your union voted to work Christmas so it could take the first day of deer hunting season off.
  • A gigabyte is when you hook a really big fish.
  • A terabyte is when the line breaks.

Geography

  • "Thumb" is a geographical term.
  • If you can go from Hell to Paradise and Climax all in one day.
  • You tell someone where you are from and they say, "I thought that was part of Canada?"
  • You've had the following conversation while giving directions to non-Michiganders:
    "Okay, now get off at Exit 69 onto Big Beaver. Yes, Big Beaver. It's Exit 69. No, I'm serious. It's named Big Beaver. The road is called Big Beaver. Seriously. Get off on Big Beaver. Stop laughing, I'm serious. I know. I know! It's not that funny."

Transportation

Communication

Military

Miscellaneous

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