I have three daughters, aged 21, 19 and 15, two of whom live with their father and have birthdays that fall in June.

When the first one came up, I remembered and called. Emily answered the telephone and the conversation went like this:

Me: Hi Em, it's mom.
Emily: Hi mom.
Me: Happy Birthday, Em!
Emily: Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Mom, it's not my birthday. It's Elizabeth's birthday.
Me: Oh, really? Well, then, happy birthday in advance.
Emily: Elizabeth isn't here right now.
Me: Okay, would you ask her to call me when she gets home? By the way, how old is she?
Emily: Hahahahahahaha. She's 19.
Me: Really? How old are you?
Emily: Hahahahahahaha I'm 15, mom.
Me: Oh, that's nice.

This might sound horrible to you. Probably it is.

But my daughters know me and I've always been like this. I was good at cooking and cleaning up and saying Don't Touch That and explaining why (sometimes through demonstration). But I've never been very good at being "mom".

More like the weird aunt.

Auntie-dote, really.

Recently I was on Chatterbox congratulating DMan on his 19th birthday. That's because sensei said it was his birthday. And then congratulating Uberfetus on his birthday. That's because DMan told me that he and Uberfetus had the same birthday.

I mean well. I really do. You just have to tell me these things, okay?.

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