Findings:
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- Friends who need you, and how not to deal with them
- I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about certain things for reasons that you may find difficult to understand
- I'm so pissed I can't stand up
- Beautiful words are nonsense if you can't hear how you're saying them.
- How Do You Know Who's A Stranger?
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- I can't stand up for falling down
- Days go by like sweet summer breeze; I don't know I... can't feel them anymore
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
- Do you know how many times you've woken up at 4:15 with deep insights?
- The guy who can't even pick up guys
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- What they don't know can't hurt them
- if being gay isn't illegal, how will we know who's cool anymore?
- IP Addresses and How to Deal With Them
- You taught me language, and my profit on it is I know how to curse. The red plague rid you for learning me your language!
- Common Heroes and how to deal with them
- they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
- And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
- How to use the Postal Service for free
- you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
- How Gently We Break
- How an S-R latch can destroy the universe
- How do you know when someone's your best friend?
- Time to break up
- How to deal with banks
- science can't explain how our thoughts are formed
- What happens to my soul if I go mad? Does it stay trapped inside or is it floating free?
- How is it that Mexicans know neither Chili con Carne nor Toilet Paper?
- How to get your stuff voted up
- I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
- If you can't beat them, join them
- I can't wake up
- How to deal with Religious Fanatics
- How to Deal with Tear Gas
- I know there's a story in here somewhere, I just can't find it
- Learn the Rules Before You Break Them
- What Happened to Them at Surinam, and How Candide Became Acquainted with Martin
- How to get a 19" monitor for free
- Holding up a bank in Latin
- How many melodies are there in the universe?
- How to pick up women
- I'm scared to death of what havoc he could wreak in my life
- How to break your neck and freak people out
- when the sky breaks, and the raw power of the universe roars in every direction
- I still can't think of anything, or how Fight Club changed my life
- it'd break my heart but if i knew you got away it'd give me peace of mind till the day i die
- How to improve your break shot
- when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
- Why can't the Democrats ever think up this kind of sleazy shit?
- I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
- Things you should know before deciding to contract a crippling disease
- How to Deal
- How to break into a car
- How To Keep Your Hoes Kink Free
- How to get free clothes in Disney World
- How my plans to sell someone's soul on eBay were foiled
- How to tell if paper is acid free
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- How to hold up a bank in Pig-Latin
- How Gauss quickly added up the numbers 1 to 100
- How do I know if I really like coffee?
- How do you know the fishes are enjoying themselves?
- Hard disk vibrations and how you can stop them
- How To Keep Your Hose Kink Free
- How to break Laissez-Faire Capitalism
- you can't break even
- Breaking down a door
- How to break in a baseball glove
- I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
- Break up at the food court
- I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
- No matter how wise an old sheep, he can't teach a fish how to polevault
- How to break a coconut
- You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
- Performing her communion with quick slashes up and down her arm
- Help! I'm noding and I can't get up!
- In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
- Lipstick prints wiped off on sleeves cut up for rags half a century ago
- Free Speech Was Threatened Again In The 21th Century: Another History Chapter
- but we turn everything we touch to shit; we just can't let beauty stand
- I can't think of anyone who could appreciate more than me your eyes and your voice
- She hopes I'm cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress, never graduating up in size to add a lover.
- Dealing with foggy bathroom mirrors
- An arms dealer, a drug dealer, and a thief...or, how I spent my New Years Eve
- Recipes for the bachelor who isn't afraid of heart disease
- Impersonal recruiters
- How to deal with the office nut-job
- I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
- Getting a free case of beer
- wreak havoc
- the universe is deterministic and we have free will
- Free your mind, add some pizzazz to your writing
- Baltimore natives, and how to understand them
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- how to survive an armed robbery
- How the Mind Works
- How do you know a girl wants to smooch?
- If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me)
- How to get free clothes in places with Lost & Found boxes
- How to pick up men
- How do you know a dog wants to smooch?
- Tell me how you want to die, and I'll tell you who you are
- I hate Creed--Or how I know there are 52 Advil in my apartment
- How do ya like them apples?
- Grinding power supply fans and how to fix them
- How the universe will end
- How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?
- I know how to bring a whiskey bottle pleasure with my touch
- How Our Bodies Are Used--and Our Minds
- I know you're cute no matter how many layers of abstraction you hide behind
- Lunch, two good men, books, how much I like them
- How to use chopsticks
- Garage sale - Feelings free, take them all!
- Declaration of the Causes and Necessity of Taking Up Arms
- How to tell someone it's break time in a high noise environment
- You break my mind in a subtle way
- If the universe breaks my heart
- When not to break up with your girlfriend
- Breaking a bank machine in 2 easy steps
- Breaking in a new rifle barrel
- How crackers break copy protection
- break up
- How to break through the next locked door
- The Break Up
- How to break a sauce
- I love you so much that I have to break up with you
- This is how fascism begins
- How can I comfort you when it breaks me too?
- I can't see your face in my mind
- I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
- I guess you really can't know anybody after all
- Mutant Marsupials Take Up Arms Against Australian Air Force
- Sometimes, I get so lonely I can't stand being conscious.
- How not to faint when you can't move
- You can't stop thinking of her: this is how you explained it, a proof of your being in love.
- Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
- Men can download naked women. Women can't download men worshipping them. Ha ha!
- I know. I can't remember.
- I can't tell you my username because I know you too well
- To a beautiful woman who can't have ketchup
- Those who can't do, teach
- Memories aren't only in your head if you can't walk down a road without having them.
- buildings so tall you can't even see the tops of them
- You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
- i cant ever have you, even in my mind.
- The Thanksgiving Curse, or, how we keep almost getting killed.
- A Century of Wrong: The Orange Free State
- Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
- I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
- The one song I can't stand listening to
- How to open a shrinkwrapped CD
- Being a good lab partner and dealing with a bad lab partner
- How to deal with a smelly roommate
- How To Deal With Doubters
- Curse Free TV
- How to deal with angry customers
- Can'st thou not minister to a mind diseased?
- diseases are the universe's way of reporting a software vulnerability
- Avoiding sexually transmitted disease
- How to deal with conflict in relationships
- We can't heal a broken arm with some pretty band-aids.
- I couldn't possibly be the only one who doesn't see empathy as a curse
- What I don't know I can't reveal under torture
- Getting free computer parts
- How to get free magazines
- How to get your cell phone replaced free of charge
- If you love somebody, set them free
- A crazy ideological teenager who still thinks that clear, free, rational thinking can save the world
- How to become a minister for free
- Getting free pizza
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