Findings:
- If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- Lost in Boston?
- We've got all this beauty and just enough time to figure out how to destroy it.
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- How to pick up women
- How the Sun, the Moon, and the Wind Went Out to Dinner
- Getting the most out of being a temp
- How to stay up all night if you've been up all day
- You know you're blacked out when...
- Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out
- How to find out if a Web company is monitoring your browsing habits
- How to liven up a party
- How to draw a 4-dimensional object, when you're limited to 3 dimensions
- How to find out if an egg has gone bad
- how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- How to jump out of a plane, and what it's like
- How to tell you're not making it in showbiz
- How to pick up men
- Windows XP won't start up - how to fix it
- And my licorice rope ladder is eaten and worn / how the hell do I climb out
- I figured out Faith
- On the beach, by myself. How it turned out.
- You wake up slowly when you're a mile underground
- StuartO))) has his head up his ass and could not write his way out of a wet paper sack
- Do you know how smart I am in Spanish?
- How to scare the living shit out of an arachnophobe with a black shoelace
- Smoking from a Pringles tube
- How to tell if you're having a heart attack
- How did I end up here?
- How to f*** up
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- How to bake a cookie which doesn't come out as hard as a rock
- How to become one of the lads (if you're a girl)
- I figured it all out
- How to get people to clean up their core dumps
- All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
- How to open a KFC when you're a cook
- The true story of how I beat the crap out of King Kong, on top of the Empire State Building
- How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
- How to make bellbottoms out of an old pair of pants
- How Gauss quickly added up the numbers 1 to 100
- if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
- I worry that no matter how hard I pray, you'll always be just out of my reach
- Three strikes you're out
- It doesn't matter how smart you are if you let your emotions get the better of you
- You see what they've done to you? You see how you're really hiding, in all that light?
- drop the bass and come out with your hands up
- Perhaps you're a little tiny egg falling out of your nest
- When you're born with duckweed in your hair, it never washes out
- It was something that sand out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
- You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.
- Sex starts when you're standing up
- long is the way and hard, that out of hell leads up to the light
- the birds seem to know what we're up to out here.
- How you're supposed to spend your leisure time
- Backing up your Windows registry file
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- figure out
- How to find out your own IP address
- How to get your stuff voted up
- How to ride a bicycle up an escalator
- Figure It Out
- How to close a KFC when you're a cook
- How to set up a formal table
- How Eulenspiegel talked two hundred boys out of their shoes
- Rolling out fresh pasta
- How to get more out of Psi
- How can vitality be achieved in figure painting?
- How to Ride Out a Storm
- Holding up a bank in Latin
- How to scare the hell out of people using flour
- How to correctly split infinitives
- How to break your neck and freak people out
- How to make a weapon out of duct tape
- How to have an out of body experience
- Dust mop so magic she can not believe how fun it is to clean up after people
- How to pack someone out of your life
- How to make a skirt out of an old pair of pants
- How to treat the dog you're going to kill
- Call her up, tell her how love is not a question.
- Building a castle entirely out of Mountain Dew cans
- A boy and his shadow standing on a long shore trying to figure out the intentions of the sun
- How to make a purse out of duct tape
- Getting out of a traffic ticket
- I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
- You're not going to be happy until you put someone's eye out
- This is how you're saved
- Beautiful words are nonsense if you can't hear how you're saying them.
- The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you.
- I miss the way you were before you figured out that I'm not yours
- If you're insane, how do you know you're insane?
- Locked Up and Locked Out
- if you want, i can help you figure out a nice ending
- we're just trying to figure out what it all means
- Covid-19: masks work, we figured that out YEARS ago
- when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
- If someone punches you out of hatred, they're definitely a villain. But that doesn't mean that you're a hero.
- I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.
- when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
- It was something that sang out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
- i know you're out there; i just wish you were here with me
- You're not fucked up, ergo, you are shallow
- You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
- Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
- The glass is half full when it comes to your life up until this point. The glass is half empty when it comes to everything you've missed out on.
- Bust out the biscuits, strike up the band
- How to hold up a bank in Pig-Latin
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- How do you articulate the in between stages where you feel you're left hanging?
- Create a throwing star out of Post-it Notes
- Which Describes How You're Feeling
- I know you're cute no matter how many layers of abstraction you hide behind
- How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- how to short out a phone line
- Getting the most out of public transportation
- Do you know how many times you've woken up at 4:15 with deep insights?
- Finding out where a net user lives
- How to set up and record an EEG
- Putting a match out in your mouth
- How to make roses open up
- Getting wax out of carpet
- How I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus
- How dating pretty boys helped me come out
- How to get a Goth out of a tree
- How to set up a home network with a PPPoE DSL connection
- How to urinate standing up
- How to buy LEGO sets when you're over twice the suggested age
- Collision avoidance technique
- How Eulenspiegel cheated a baker out of a sack of bread
- How to tell if you're addicted to hunting
- how to fall out of a marriage
- how to set up and use a microphone in Windows
- How to carve a dodecahedron out of a cube
- How to fall out of an airplane
- How to read poetry out loud
- How the Union and the Confederacy stacked up at the beginning of the Civil War
- Ken Lay
- How to hook a TV up to a computer
- A line of reasoning in support of the use of force
- How Eulenspiegel cleared out the merchant's house
- How to set up and operate a road checkpoint
- How to scare the shit out of someone
- How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
- Getting small animals out of the walls
- How to ash out of the back window of a moving car
- How to build a computer out of black holes
- Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
- How to put a cigarette out on your tongue
- How to make a serviceable pair of shoes out of a rubber tire
- How to pick up hot red-headed chicks
- Getting water out of a cactus
- Making a ring out of a dollar bill
- Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
- How to escape domestic violence
- How to make a bowl out of a vinyl LP
- And You're Wondering How a Top Floor Could Replace Heaven
- How I almost got shot all up full of holes
- How to pick up a dime with a forklift
- how does it feel to be carried out to the trash?
- another "poem" about unrequited love and how it fucks up your everything
- how to bring up sex in a conversation
- Using Dao Yin as a martial arts warm up
- Building a rabbit trap out of two aluminum cans
- How to pick up Sheilas
- Making a flame thrower out of a Bic lighter
- How to get a kitten out of your bedroom
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- Figuring out How To Make An MFA Workable
- How I found peace staring up at the moon from a gutter in my dreams
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- How I decided not to stare out of a smoky haze of phony melancholy
- I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
- How to Fall Out of Love
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