I was actually just making a joke about this (In The Musical Tampon Effect
). Every girlfriend
that I have had for any considerable
length of time has sent me off to the market to pick up pads and or tampons for them. Upon my return, no matter how many times I've done it before, they are smiling and giddy
about the whole thing.
I even had a girlfriend
once who used to tell people about it at fucking parties.
Come one come all; SEE thee fantaastic and amazing, moJoe, the Wonder Pooch! He will fetch yoah tampons and other female type nether-region accessories! Step right up!
I sat tight lipped, clutching my beer as I was transformed into Jo Jo the Dog Faced Boy
right before everyone's eyes. The reason for all the jaw dropped, pie-hole gaping amazement is apparently that most men cannot or will not even attempt to carry out this arduous
task under any circumstances
I must inform the women in the audience that, should you obtain the services of a man who will buy you tampons and face the stares and gasps of other store patrons
and even clerks
-- Who think that you are going to what; take them home and stick them in your ass? I mean, I have actually had a clerk giggle
at me and wiggle the box of "Light Days" Tampax tampons luridly
in my direction
At any rate... I digress; as I was saying, if you do obtain the services of such a man, don't giggle, don't gape, don't thank him profusely as if he had saved your triplets
from a burning wreck
and lost 80% of his flesh to the apocalyptic inferno
and under no circumstances are you to ever tote him around at parties like some sort of new-age-sensitive-guy-party-favor
. Just say thank you, head for the bathroom and take care of your business