Everybody's met them, at one time or another. They are:
  • Guys who are nice guys by choice. These are the rarest, and everybody, male and female both, recognizes them right off the bat. Women are most attracted to this sort. Other guys either are drawn to his personality or react against it like cesium in a swimming pool.

  • Guys who are nice guys by disposition. A little less common, but still useful. Women, in general, will tend toward this sort after the nice-by-choice ones are all taken. They tend to have fewer friends, but more "friends" who recognize that they can take advantage of them easily.

  • Guys who are nice guys because they aren't bright enough to get away with being evil. This sort makes up the vast majority of nice guys on the planet. They are indistinguishable from the second sort to those who are looking for a boyfriend/potential mate. Only his friends will be able to tell which one he is. Women should take their advice.

Well, the first variety of mice guy fancies mice as pets. Often he enjoys their silky fur or the feel of their soft, tiny feet as they run up and down his arms. He loves the cute way they snuggle into their shredded paper burrows, and their soft squeaks soothe him as he goes to sleep at night.

The second, less common mice guy enjoys eating mice. The most common way to serve a mouse is battered on a stick, much like a rodentine corn dog. Currently, the International Mouse Gourmands Society is lobbying the producers of Iron Chef to include mice in the possible challenge menus, since there is a little-known and highly complex ancient Okinawan dish that involves whole field mice, sufu, and cubed sea hare. The rest of us can only hope their lobbying efforts fail.

The third and most rare type of mice guys actually turn into mice. Supernature has seen to it that muscothropes make their change when the moon is at its weakest and the night sky nearly black. Since the diet of natural wolves is made largely of field mice in certain areas, it stands to reason that weremice would fall prey to werewolves in great numbers if they had to make their change in the same moonphase.

When in their human form, weremice tend to be small and fine-boned with strong, well-developed teeth. They are universally vegetarians, though few can resist a well-aged cheese. These mice guys make passionate, affectionate lovers, but do tend to be easily startled --

Hang on, somebody's tapping me on the shoulder.

Hi, panamaus, what's up?

What?

Nice guys? I thought we were ... oh.

Nevermind.

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