Pity the Whizzer, the
superhero with the most
embarrassing name in history!
The Whizzer was a
comic book character created by
Al Avison and owned by
Marvel Comics. He made his
debut in "
USA Comics #1" in August 1941.
The Whizzer was really
Bob Frank. As a
child, he lived with his
father, who was a
scientist working in the
jungle in
Africa. Bob got very
sick, and his father wasn't able to cure it due to the
primitive conditions of his
lab. Besides having a deadly
fever, Bob was also being threatened by a venomous
snake, but a
mongoose appeared, fought the snake, and killed it. Apparently, Dr. Frank got his degree by
mail order, because he decided, "Hey, if that mongoose could kill a snake, surely its
blood could kill a fever!" So he caught the mongoose, killed it, and drained its blood into his son's veins. After that, Dr. Frank immediately fell over
dead, perhaps from mortal
shame at his
stupidity. But he was right after all; Bob recovered and was even granted amazing and illogical powers of
superspeed from the mongoose blood in his body! Outfitting himself with a (Oh god, you won't believe it)
yellow costume, Bob dubbed himself the Whizzer and began his
crimefighting career.
The Whizzer was not exactly a
sensation. He appeared in most issues of
USA Comics, but never appeared on the
cover. He also appeared in
All Winners Comics and was a member of the short-lived
All Winners Squad. He reappeared in the
1970s, when it was claimed that he and
Miss America were the parents of
Quicksilver and
the Scarlet Witch; of course, it was later decided that
Magneto was the father of those two, and the Whizzer faded back into obscurity. Any guy calling himself the Whizzer and wearing a yellow costume is
just asking for it, and he was often used by bored
writers whenever they needed to
inflict something
undignified on a character. Eventually, probably to his great relief, he was killed off.
Addendum: Habakkuk notes:
"What a loser! He and his wife are tricked into believing that two mutant kids are theirs and then their own kid ends up being a mentally retarded particle accelerator (Nuklon). His 'daughter' ends up marrying a mannequin with red skin ... and his other son is just an asshole who runs really fast. I think Bob welcomed death with open arms."Research from http://www.toonopedia.com/whizzer.htm