Adventures from My Suite

Okay, everyone knows how broke college kids are. Have you ever really thought about those everyday necessities that you take for granted as "always being provided for?" Well, I hadn't really either, until i moved into a dorm that DID NOT provide toilet paper for us. Yes, that's right... we had to actually buy our own!!!

Well, for most of the year, we five girls who live in this suite have been really good about sharing the duties of buying toilet paper. Therefore, it has always been there.

However, ONE girl, who we shall call "Lisa," has not bought toilet paper this entire year. It is now April. Now, we other four girls are not stingy or cheap or anything, but we are tired of always having to be the one to put forth the effort and buy a package of toilet paper.

Well, since we go through about one roll a day, when we had three rolls left, we told Lisa that it was her turn to buy toilet paper and she needed to get it soon, otherwise, we would run out. Now, we have told Lisa this before, but she always has an excuse to not be able to get any, and one of us ends up buying it, for fear we will run out of the god-sent commodity. Well, being the carefree girl that she is, Lisa assumed one of us would just go and buy some, since we have done so before. Not this time.

Two days later, all four of us girls took the last roll, hid it in the closet, and told Lisa we were out. She did nothing. Didn't RUN to Walgreen's to buy a 4-pack, didn't say I will get some tonight, NOTHING!!!! This girl went an entire day using either nothing or a Kleenex! Finally, she retreated into the bathroom that night armed with the latest Cosmo to "take care of business." Somehow (wink wink) we failed to remind her of the little shortage. Ten minutes later, her calls came begging for a Kleenex, which we dutifully handed over. She promised she would get some the next day, considering our so-called condition.

Well, the next day started, and progressed, still with no sign of the heavenly cotton. And no sign of Lisa for that matter. Well, our one stashed roll emptied at about three in the afternoon, and we began to panic. Lisa had used all of the Kleenex, and we had to be strong and prove our point. Therefore, we couldn't go and buy some. My roommate Ellen and I devised the Greatest Plan to Originate Behind Our Doors:


There is one location in the entire building where toilet paper is provided for "free." The downstairs public bathroom. And so, the heist began. I armed myself with my Jansport backpack, and Ellie armed herself with her camera. Off we went to begin our "project."

We marched into the bathroom and planned on stealing a roll or two; however, upon further examination, we realized the the actual roll was locked on. Our only choice was to unload the roll by "unspinning" it, and let the paper all flow right into my backpack. Let me tell you, those economy size rolls are quite hefty, and my arms were very tired after all of that unravelling! An empty roll and five pictures later, we zipped the bag and headed upstairs.

Not exactly wanting to tell the other roomies HOW we got the paper, we began re-rolling the toilet paper back onto another cardboard tube. When we got all 652 feet of this paper rolled back up, we took a good look at our creation, and realized the deal..... DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE NOW HAD TOILET PAPER, IT WAS MOST DEFINITELY SECOND-HAND TOILET PAPER!!!! the idea didn't thrill us, and we weren't sure how the roomies would react. Fortunately, the very next day, our dear Lisa contributed 12 WHOLE NON-USED ROLLS to the bathroom. I think just about everyone sang a song...... until we found out she bought 1-ply paper. OUCH!!!

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