A top secret device secretly being worked on by Everything Labs, which is also top secret - nobody has ever heard of them, at least not any noder...

It only takes minor surgery for the implant, and it will interface directly with your brain. You'll have instant access to Everything from any place in the world, able to read the writeups of any node, and even add your own, at any time. Imagine taking a test in class, with everything just a thought away.

However, you must be aware of one minor thing... the implant will download all the information from your mind, and node it automatically. That's right, upon the first activation, your entire life will become part of the database, from early memories of school, your first kiss, that affair you had with the next door neighbor, and your secret dislike of dem bones.

Coming soon!

A small-scale trial of a one-way implant is already in operation.

Several unwitting test subjects were actually implanted with these in their sleep some months ago. They were selected for their great knowledge of bizarre subjects, range of fascinating experiences and command of the English language. Their thoughts are being noded as I type.

The group responsible for this experiment in cybernetics is currently unknown.

For those interested, the implant is connected to the entire length of the spine by a self-maintaining culture of machine-phase neurobacteria, and the main processing centre resides deep within the muscles of the buttocks, where it is almost completely undetectable to anyone not in the know. It transmits on microwave frequencies, simultaneously relaying information, interfering with all nearby electronic equipment and giving the subject a pleasant warm feeling in the posterior.

As yet the power of the device is limited to simple daylogs. However, there are almost certainly greater things to come, as foreshadowed in copious references by certain noders to an "ass chip".

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