A phrase often heard over dinner, when someone is commenting on a piece of meat that they either cannot identify or are in denial over the origins of.

Did you ever notice that everything tastes like chicken except for chicken?

Animals that taste like chicken:

  1. frog legs
  2. most waterfowl that don't taste like duck
  3. turtle back meat (not the legs though they taste like beef)
  4. squirrel if your old lady is a hell of a cook, otherwise squirrel tastes like chicken gizzard.
  5. rabbit
  6. venison chops, though I wouldn't fight you if you said that they taste like pork.
Children, when properly cooked, also taste remarkbly like chicken. But mark my words, it is a delicate preparation that ensures a tasty meal. The best way I've found to prepare children thus far involves a two step process of searing, then roasting:

After properly cleaning and gutting the child, heat a medium-sized skillet on high and place a small amount of your favorite cooking oil (I prefer olive myself) in the pan so that the bottom is lightly coated. Sear the child on each side for about 35 seconds, and then set it aside for a moment.

Prepare a roasting dish by pouring 2 cups of chicken stock, diced carrots (about a cup), one stalk of celery, and your favorite spices. Place the child in the roasting dish and bake for three hours at 300 degrees.

While the child is cooking, prepare your side dishes. One of my favorites to serve with child is rosemary potatoes. They're quick to prepare, and their robust flavor is always a pleasurable compliment to the subtle flavor of child.

Proper wine selection is also important, but as long as you follow the rules for serving white or light meats, you'll be just fine.

Serves: you right.

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