Target is a discount store (an "'upscale' mass merchandiser", according to their propaganda). One usually goes to a discount store to exchange monetary units for a wide range of mediocre consumer-grade goods. You can also go there to see parents beat their children in public, but you're better off seeing that at the Wal-Mart Where People Beat Their Kids.

Anyway, there's only about one discount-type store in the Atlanta area near downtown (and Georgia Tech, specifically): the Target of denial. It's on North Druid Hills Road, just east of I-85. Trying to get mediocre consumer-grade goods is futile. They don't have it. Or it's not all there. Or it's where it shouldn't be. Apparently, this Target is run by sadistic dwarves, i suppose. They can read your thoughts and rearrange the store accordingly. They're out to get you and deny you a fulfilling shopping experience.

Examples: i went there to get a cheese grater (among other things). Did i find the cheese grater in the small housewares section between the garlic presses and apple corers? Of course not. i was browsing around the store and happened to find one. In the electronics section, no less. Only one cheese grater in the entire fucking store and it was about as far away from where it should have been as is possible. Typical. Another time i wanted a cocktail shaker (and i still do). They had one. Only one. i would've bought the damn thing, except it was missing the top cap that keeps the precious alcohol and other yummies inside it. i went back about a week and a half later, hoping they would have corrected the error of their ways. This time, they had zero cocktail shakers. Typical.

i usually end up going there with Mark. He and i like to laugh at the very suggestive (and perhaps even a bit pornographic) employment banner. i used to go there all the time with Logan, but he moved to California, which makes it a bit impractical. i suppose i'm just a glutton for punishment, 'cos i keep going back there and leaving without everything i went there for.

update - Feb 2002

The Target of Denial as we know it is no more. Target decided to close this store and level the old Ridgeway building. It is now nothing more than an empty lot. The store closing came as a bit of a shock to me, as it always seemed to do very good business, but at least other ATLiens don't have to put up with the Target of Denial any longer. Be vigilant, though. This just means it could show up in your neck of the woods. A late night trip to the Wal-Mart where people beat their kids with Iconoplast leads me to believe that this store has now stepped up to the plate of denial. Be vigilant, noders!

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