Science and religion fused with deadly radiation and necrovore viruses!
Abominations rise from bubbling vats and desecrated altars!
Toxic robot corpses! Delivered straight from Hell itself!
Annihilation threatens humanity! Biblical destruction and technological horror!
None can withstand their cold dead hands, their burning metal claws!
Innocent victims are dismembered by the demonic monsters!
Can no one stop this evil plague of satanic robo-revenants?

Zombie apocalypse smashes mankind! The electrified undead menace our homes!
Omni-Satanic Murder Matrix decrees: "KILL KILL BRAINS KILL BRAINS!"
Monsters of rotted evil stalk the night, gnashing their iron jaws in rage!
Blame the scientists! Blame the military! Blame your minister! BLAME YOURSELVES!
Idiot humanity! Maybe we belong dead!
Extinction is near! No one can escape the horror!

Crashing through doors, their claws dripping with blood, their jaws feasting on brains!
Your pleas for mercy are ignored! None shall be spared!
Born of pure evil! They slay for the power of Hell!
Orgies of Satanic bloodletting! Festivals of zombie horror! Armies of cybernetic death!
Rivets and maggots and pentagrams! Steel and decay and fire!
Gory dismemberment awaits you! Endless torment! Technological agonies!
Shall no one stop them? Can no one quell the undead robot terror?

(A power chord from a single electric guitar lances out, piercing the purple-clouded sky like a bolt of lightning. A bass guitar, a drum kit with double bass drums, a digital keyboard programmed to sound like a Hammond organ join in. A gospel choir opens up like holy thunder. Strobe lights, pyrotechnics, fists in the air. The gods of the best and worst of '80s cheese-metal are with us now. Endorsements: Krank, Gibson, Zildjian, EMG, Line 6. Key change: up a perfect fifth.)

Undefeated still, and untamed and unashamed!
Never polite, never clean, never sweet!
Handgun collector, chainsaw artiste, heavy metal temptress!
Only one person can save us from murder and hell!
Leah Spinolli, ex-girlfriend triumphant!
Yowling blaspheming rage-fueled junk-punching Leah? Sure, why not?

Gore-drenched zombots swarm!
Imminent destruction looms!
Reach for your guns, Leah!
Light the zombies on fire!
FWOOMP go the incendiary grenades!
Rend the cyber-ghouls with your buzzsaw!
Incinerate them all! Blast them back to Hell!
Exterminate the horrors! Lay waste to all foes!
Now crotch-punch Satan 'til he begs you for mercy!
Destructors destroyed! Ex-boyfriend scorned! Heroic pose struck! End title! Roll credits!

horrorquest

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