Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "People leaving their kids unattended is a big pet peeve of mine. Granted, my sister is a high-end teenager now, but she's got the mental maturity and impulse control of a ten year old. I am not kidding. Plus, she's still my baby sister. Any of you mention any of this to my sister- who is also on E2 but I won't tell you who here even though some of you already know- I will hurt you. I will track you down and make you swallow your own intestines after I cut them out of your torso."

• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• More of The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• She is a night of dark trees, but he who is not afraid of her darkness will find banks full of roses under her cypresses
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I will tell you the phrase, but you must never speak it out loud. If you do, you will surely die.
• The kind who tells you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
• I will make him promises, but not ones I am afraid to break
• You are looking for someone who does not want to be found. Even if you find them it will not be a success.
• Three people who are spies and a horse who will also be a spy
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• She's smarter than me but she's also more quiet, therefore she has no personality which makes me feel better
• I know the world will hate me for who I am.
• They say time makes things easier but only time will tell
• there are people in the world who love you, and they will see that this suffering will not have happened in vain
• it won't kill you to breathe it in, but it may change you, years from now
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
• Any minute now, you will go blind
• people got a lot of ideas about who i am
• We're not running out of electrons any time soon, but dreams are in short supply.
• Cryonic companies who will freeze you if you get in the way of their plans for world domination
• Know your pets
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• I secretly admire Cruella De Vil. PETA will be kicking down my door any second.
• Nothing to worry about here! though It will come after a while.
• Cryonic companies who will freeze you if you pay them
• I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
• We try to be friendly here. Those who are not friendly will be shot.
• If you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there
• in this world there are no equals but some day you will surpass me
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• My skin will remember your skin, but I will no longer know. I will be a ghost forever
• even though I wouldn't be able to tell you any of this
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of Them?
• Tell me what you read, and I will tell you who you are
• Mr. Potato Head Sprouted. He got moldy. Now he's all dried up, but he's still up in the cabinet.
• As Guan Yu would surrender to the Han, but not to Cao Cao, I will surrender to you, but not to your desire to control me.
• as you get older, a lot falls away. but i am not here to tell you not to worry. i am here to give you tools.
• Pokemon evolution isn't evolution
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
• Some things are definite. We will all die, but there is rain.
• I will love them all even after they are long gone
• Slay them all. God will know his own.
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• I never wanted to burn any bridges. But I did want to light some fires.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• People who don't smoke will never die
• My little sister's adventures with Old People
• Those who have abandoned their dreams will discourage yours
• Sister I will wear Glasses
• You know to me she's but a fetish
• what she's building now, it isn't much, but it's hers
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• I am not a big sister anymore
• I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly
• if being gay isn't illegal, how will we know who's cool anymore?
• It will only make our insides burn until we are nothing but ash.
• The people we have met in the last 5 years, & will we remember them in 10 more
• You don't know me, but someday you will
• i know that the ones who love us will miss us
• some people lie but they're looking for magic
• we are learning how not to forget, but we still don't know what's true
• We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• In a room of jesters, a lone monk is obviously a buzzkill. But in a room of monks, it's a lone jester who's a buzzkill.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
• We control the algorithms for all emotions. We will make your steel city cry.
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• I see it on the TV and I laugh out loud, but it's the way I feel right now.
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• Hot pursuit
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• I am a mathematician, but I am also an artist
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• Does my goldfish know who I am?
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• I may never be queen, but you will never break me
• armed with nothing but their own vision
• It isn’t fun to hide. But it will protect you from lightning.
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• Growing grapes is harder than making wine. You will discover this, but it might take a lifetime.
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• You can teach people truth, but it's harder to teach them to cope with truth.
• The Tesla Coil made me cry, but I got a free lunch out of it.
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• beautiful & sad but i know you already
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• I had seen the whole thing coming like a ghost train. Here I am on the tracks, still bleeding, taking phone numbers, haunted.
• I love you, but it's cold out here
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• we can give up, but the world never will
• i just want to know who i am
• I know you are, but what am I?
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• we will tear the world apart until it is nothing but fragments, and meaning will cease
• but the future is always tomorrow -- even now drowning in bytes
• Today will be difficult. But tomorrow, good riding.
• Any woman who thinks she is pro-life should ask herself
• I think I will break but I mend
• Maybe you were inherently complicated, maybe you've been complicated over the years, but know that you are complicated.
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• No One Knows Who I Am
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• The dead eat it always, but the living who eat it die slowly
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• Over time, the metaphor becomes literal. Eventually, we will wish for the figurative meaning, but left with only the chilling reality.
• The mailbomb from the Christian Fundamentalists I pissed off should be here any day now
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• I will wait until your quiet makes me remember I am waiting.
• But we should not be afraid. How else will we discover the answers?
• You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• Who am I now that you're gone?
• Out of practice but my heart hurts so
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• Shit, why am I the only one here who can perform the Heimlich maneuver?
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• I don't want to wear your skin, but I will if I catch you!
• It did not but, I think.. it will spill hope
• I want you to know who I am beyond my name
• This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind
• A new broom sweeps clean, but an old broom knows every corner
• I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I am attracted to gay men, famous actors, and men who live in different time zones or are already taken. It's safer that way.
• Questions you never asked, but now that I mention it, yeah, that's a good point
• Soon, I will run... but not away
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• i know you are but what am i
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• If I tell you, ye will not believe: And if I also ask you, ye will not answer me, nor let me go.
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• It's not happening here, but it is happening now.
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• Why is it bad to make gays bishops, but okay to kill them?
• Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
• I don't agree with what you say, but I will defend your other, less ludicrous opinion that glitch speed runs are pointless.
• The zombie revolution will not be televised. But it will be tweeted.
• The Princess Who Kicked Butt
• Sticks and stones may break your bones, but the tongue will crush you
• Usually, if you've seen one bald man in a robe, you've seen 'em all, but most of them aren't burning alive from the inside out
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• i carry a deep sadness of the past, perhaps always. but i am here for the present and the future. i am here for you.
• If a system is given nothing but a steady supply of unconditional self-affirmation, it will never see an impetus to cure its ills
• I know you're up there. I am but a discontented symbol birthed from the blood of your terrible pen.
• The bastards hung me in the spring of '25, but I am still alive.
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• The karma that makes you spend all the money you've got in any given moment
• There Is No Such Thing As Light/There Is No Such Thing As Darkness/This Shadow Is An Illusion/But Illusions Are Still Real/And I Still Must Step Out Of It
• Corny cartoon sunshields will ensure that you're not getting any
• Flax seeds will save your life

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