Frown lines. I'm not even twenty yet, and I have frown lines tugging the corners of my mouth downwards. I never noticed this before. I'm too young to have frown lines.

I almost wore the necklace you gave me for my 18th birthday to work today. Almost.

Normally I just roll out of bed, throw on clothing and rush for the door, still half asleep. But today I woke up early. I showered, and even put on makeup. Without thinking too much about what I was doing or why, I dug through the bowels of my sock drawer until I found it. A simple silver chain with a pendant. Two hearts, entwined, with a small white stone, something that's not a diamond but is a good imitation. Exactly my style.

I fastened the catch around my neck, my fingers fumbing on the small clasp. Drowning in the memories. The words you wrote, that I still remember word for word, even though it's been almost two years now.

"Like the two hearts in the necklace, I never want to be parted from you. You are in me and I am in you, and even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, we were meant to be together."

How I wore it the day that I passed my third driving test, after failing the first two. I remember joking about it with you afterwards, saying that it was my lucky charm. I remember lying on top of you, the cool metal a contrast between the warmth of our bodies.

I remember the last time, me with tearstained cheeks, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I want you to look at me and tell me that you don't love me, and that you never will love me."

And you, your eyes torn between discomfort and pity, hesitating,

"I don't love you anymore. And.. I can't know what will happen in the future. But I don't think that I will ever again love you in the way you want me to."

Our gazes lock, and I nod slowly. And then you add, "If that ever changes, I'll give you a call."

 Idiot. Couldn't you tell that I was looking for closure, not false hope?

 Reluctantly, I remove the necklace and place it carefully, lovingly, among the socks. It's almost summer now, and in this climate, I'm not going to have much use for socks anytime soon. It is safe here, hidden from my eyes and from my thoughts.

It's a beautiful necklace, but it was never truly mine. I can't wear it anymore. Neither can I give it away. I know you still wear the leather watch I gave you, but it isn't the same.

 You will always have a piece of my heart, but I don't even know who you are anymore. I have to move on with my life. And I have to go now, or I'll be late for work. You understand, don't you?