Nothing bad can happen to you in your sleep.

During the summers I work as a tripper at a summer camp. We were doing the Golden Staircase, a very beautiful route through a series of waterfalls in Temagami. We'd had excellent weather, not a drop of rain for 4 days, clear skies, sun (all of which heavily contributed to our running out of chlorination drops) until the last day when the sky opened and shat on us. So after responsibly wussing out on an ambitious second last day, we sat at the end of an 800 m portage for two hours waiting for the lightning, hail, and rain to let us get back on the water.

We were eighteen. Four staff, fourteen kids, huddled like penguins under a tarp keeping warm and waiting for water to boil. I'd like to think that some of the kids think I'm tough or at least are intimidated by me but when things get shitty I have a very firm position. Nothing bad can happen to you in your sleep. So, standing on the edge of our huddle, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I didn't. It would've taken a yogi (or a narcoleptic) to achieve sleep over the crash of thunder, cold rain, and the enthused sing-songing of fourteen fourteen-year-olds. So the kids poked me and laughed and I just replied that nothing bad can happen to you in your sleep. I stand by it.

I mean you could fall off a cliff, get mauled by a bear, find out you're terminally ill but when you're sleeping none of this is really happening until you wake up. It's a very simple and childish escape but it works. I know a girl who, when upset, would cry and then take a nap. She said it calmed her right down.

Strangely this thought always entered my mind in the context of zombie infestation but it seems to wear on me more and more. I find myself sitting in the car and thinking, "if I get hit right now I really don't want to have to do first aid or anything, I think I'll just pass out."

Personally I think it's cowardice. Sleep is awesome, let me get that out there for the record, but nothing good can really happen when you're sleeping either. It's better to tackle problems head on then sleep through them, waking life is pretty good too and dying in your sleep sounds (too) easy.

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