I met this guy a while ago on IRC. He seemed cool, he went to another university nearby, and we had some similar interests. Erik Satie, for example. He's Russian, he's in business or commerce or something at school, he seems like just an average guy.

Then I found out about his business dealings and how he's banned from trading on a few stock exchanges. And then I learned about how he sells military information to different governments. He explained how he researched and read about all the latest military stuff, in places like Jane's. And how he goes to see tests of the latest tech himself. And how he hangs out on Russian submarines in the summer.

A couple of months later, he left to go on a nuclear submarine for a month or so. He sent me an email from the sub explaining how the alarm for a nuclear leak went off so he had to be scrubbed with weird orange gel that removed all his hair, but it was just a false alarm. When he got back we discussed the military, how Russia thinks Canada is going to be taken over by the USA within 20 years, and other interesting things. A week or so later he returned to Russia to do some high-altitude skydiving.

Now he's on my ICQ telling me how he's stuck in the middle of nowhere in Russia with the secret police 'hunting me down'. He claims to be on a laptop with some sort of satelite connection to the internet. It seems that his truck got stuck in the mud and now he's staying with some crazy old lady who's trying to serve him radish-like vegetables. He's getting some old communist paraphernalia from her to show some friends back here in Canada in exchange for giving her diesel for her generator and a couple month's worth of ammo to keep the wolves from attacking her animals. Supposedly.

I really cannot figure out if he actually is a Russian spy or just has some sort of mental problem.

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