In which Old Man Jet-Poop goes on and on about what it was like in The Good Ol' Days while the young-uns wish they could get a ride to the mall and look at girls
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, today is my seventh anniversary
as an Everythingian.
Back in the day, I was living in Portales, New Mexico
, working a very nice job that went to hell
all too suddenly. I was residing in a small but exceptionally gorgeous
house right next to the campus of Eastern New Mexico University
. One weekend, my brother came to visit me and said, "Hey, you gotta check out this site I've discovered. You'll love it." He pulled up the old Everything1
site and signed us up an account (He used "Jet-Poop
" as the name because it was the same name he used when playing Quake
online. He still uses it over at SomethingAwful
and a few other sites. I've offered to change my name here, but he says to keep it.) We'd planned to share the account -- sometimes I'd write something, sometimes he'd write something -- but he never ended up using the site much.
Still, in my early days as a noder, I referred to myself as "we
", assuming that my bro would start noding any day now. That never happened, but I kept up the plural affectation
for quite a while. Eventually, someone remarked upon it, and I invented the "Team Jet-Poop
" concept on the spot. For a while, a few people may have actually believed that I was really a seven-person tag-team of writers, though I suspect the stuff about the lunar headquarters
, the rocket car
, and the pet crawling eye
probably gave the joke away.
By now, most of you have probably already heard what E1
was like -- only two writeups per node and not enough space to do more than summarize most topics. No chatterbox
, no quest
s, no Honor Roll
, not much editing or deleting. At the time, we thought it was great, and I'm able to remember what it was like and laugh. Nostalgia
is a wonderful thing.
But it wasn't a particularly grand thing. You know how we see some newbies come in and start noding about how girls are just so stupid
and they don't care about anything but money, and fuck 'em anyway if they're stuckup
, how they're punk as shit like a motherfucker
, about how they've got this really great bong
, and they've named it "Mr. Dunlap
" after their homeroom teacher
who's such a prick
? You know how fast you reach for the downvote button? Well, back in the E1 days, we noded shit like that all the time. I had several writeups about private in-joke
s that my brother and I shared. No explanation, nothing that made sense, just the punchline that always made us laugh like ninnies. November 13, 1999
was the best thing that could've happened to Everything.
Of course, with the advances in the database came a great deal of excitement
, and more. April Trolls Day
stirred things up, the Stile Project
came over and made a stink, EDB
got his tubes tied. Scores of trolls came over here and tried to knock us down, and we sent them home crying to momma.
came and went. kenata
came and went. Asamoth
came and went. Same with themusic
, and so many others. sensei
, deep thought
, even dem bones
I miss most of them very much. I wish we could somehow bring them all back. But they've made their mark here, they helped shape the site, and I'm grateful that, for most, their writeups still remain here where we can appreciate them. Their absence doesn't make E2 a better place, or a worse place -- like life, we watch friends move in, impact our lives, and move on. But I still miss them very, very much.
I thank nate
for creating this wonderful site. I thank those we've lost for helping to make E2 so fun and so wonderful. I thank you
for working hard to leave your own unique impact on this website. Never for a moment forget that this is the best damn thing the Intarwebs have ever coughed up. I pray it lasts forever.
Mugs up! Here's to seven years, and another seven, and another seven, and more. Here's to Everything2
! (/me quaffs frosty brew)