In which Old Man Jet-Poop goes on and on about what it was like in The Good Ol' Days while the young-uns wish they could get a ride to the mall and look at girls

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, today is my seventh anniversary as an Everythingian.

Back in the day, I was living in Portales, New Mexico, working a very nice job that went to hell all too suddenly. I was residing in a small but exceptionally gorgeous house right next to the campus of Eastern New Mexico University. One weekend, my brother came to visit me and said, "Hey, you gotta check out this site I've discovered. You'll love it." He pulled up the old Everything1 site and signed us up an account (He used "Jet-Poop" as the name because it was the same name he used when playing Quake online. He still uses it over at SomethingAwful and a few other sites. I've offered to change my name here, but he says to keep it.) We'd planned to share the account -- sometimes I'd write something, sometimes he'd write something -- but he never ended up using the site much.

Still, in my early days as a noder, I referred to myself as "we", assuming that my bro would start noding any day now. That never happened, but I kept up the plural affectation for quite a while. Eventually, someone remarked upon it, and I invented the "Team Jet-Poop" concept on the spot. For a while, a few people may have actually believed that I was really a seven-person tag-team of writers, though I suspect the stuff about the lunar headquarters, the rocket car, and the pet crawling eye probably gave the joke away.

By now, most of you have probably already heard what E1 was like -- only two writeups per node and not enough space to do more than summarize most topics. No chatterbox, no quests, no Honor Roll, not much editing or deleting. At the time, we thought it was great, and I'm able to remember what it was like and laugh. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

But it wasn't a particularly grand thing. You know how we see some newbies come in and start noding about how girls are just so stupid and they don't care about anything but money, and fuck 'em anyway if they're stuckup, how they're punk as shit like a motherfucker, about how they've got this really great bong, and they've named it "Mr. Dunlap" after their homeroom teacher who's such a prick? You know how fast you reach for the downvote button? Well, back in the E1 days, we noded shit like that all the time. I had several writeups about private in-jokes that my brother and I shared. No explanation, nothing that made sense, just the punchline that always made us laugh like ninnies. November 13, 1999 was the best thing that could've happened to Everything.

Of course, with the advances in the database came a great deal of excitement, controversy, transformation, success, loss, laughter, tears, rage, and more. April Trolls Day stirred things up, the Stile Project came over and made a stink, EDB got his tubes tied. Scores of trolls came over here and tried to knock us down, and we sent them home crying to momma.

DMan came and went. kenata came and went. Asamoth came and went. Same with themusic, juliet, JeffMagnus, moJoe, Uberfetus, and so many others. sensei, Hermetic, stand/alone/bitch, ailie, wharfinger, ideath, deep thought, knifegirl, arcanamundi, Gritchka, Quizro, even dem bones himself.

I miss most of them very much. I wish we could somehow bring them all back. But they've made their mark here, they helped shape the site, and I'm grateful that, for most, their writeups still remain here where we can appreciate them. Their absence doesn't make E2 a better place, or a worse place -- like life, we watch friends move in, impact our lives, and move on. But I still miss them very, very much.

I thank nate for creating this wonderful site. I thank those we've lost for helping to make E2 so fun and so wonderful. I thank you for working hard to leave your own unique impact on this website. Never for a moment forget that this is the best damn thing the Intarwebs have ever coughed up. I pray it lasts forever.

Mugs up! Here's to seven years, and another seven, and another seven, and more. Here's to Everything2! (/me quaffs frosty brew)
I am a person, a human, right?

Everything2 feels like a place where I can be accepted. I can look up anything to my heart's content, and somebody has written something to cover it. But there are so many people here.

How can I belong?

There are so many people in the world! I want to save up enough money and travel! I want to go places. I want to see things and meet people. I want adventure!

But right now I feel like I'm stuck...

Everything2 doesn't need me, I am just one more in the pile. I am here because this place helps to give me a sense of purpose. If anybody here truly resents my presence here, let me know. If anybody has any words of wisdom or encouragement, they will be appreciated at least, whether applied or not.

I'm just in a lot of pain right now.

Dear Donatello,

So. So so. That was quite a period of silence there, no? Almost two years, I'm thinking. A lot happens in two years... when I got your number from your sister, I have to confess; I was rather afraid that you'd have changed, that you'd have grown up. Not to suggest that I thought you were immature, oh no, just that some people change so drastically that they hardly seem to be the same person anymore.

I was glad you hadn't. I'm sure you've changed, yes. Two years is too long not to have changed. But you're still writing, you still have your sense of humor, and you still have that contagious laugh. I missed your laugh. And speaking of your writing, I ought to introduce you to folks around here sometime. They're a nice enough bunch, if you follow the rules and write well. It's a community, everything is. I think you'd like it.

You have questions, I'm sure, about where I went during those two years. I doubt very much that your family told you, and I'm not sure that I blame them. That would be an interesting conversation, one that I'm not entirely unwilling to have, but you'll have to respect that it's a conversation I'd rather have face to face, which may mean that it will be a long time coming. Or maybe not, who knows how these sorts of things will end up working out.

Enough on that for now. You're special, Donnie, very much so. I only know a few people of your caliber. The world, you see, has this idea of what's right and wrong, what's acceptable, what's "normal." I can leave my socks on and still use my digits to count the number of people I know who disagree with what the world says and do their own thing. They're invigorating, and you're right up there with them. As for me... I must regrettably say that I let the world dictate me for a number of years. I'm on my way back, but it's a long road to ascend. I'd recommend you not climb it if you can help it.

That's all for now, Donnie. We'll talk more later. As the Turtles would say...


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