"Just a Stache" is a very specific type of moustache, also referred to as the secret stache. To have "just a stache," one must have no beard or other facial hair, except for the moustache. Men with just a stache frequently also have mullets, and the combination of those two and aviator sunglasses is practically the epitome of scumminess. Sure, there are some normal people with just a stache (my uncle included) but stereotypes are fun. You know the kind of guy I'm talking about, and he is well described in the following Klone song:

(Would you like a lollipop little one?
I'm looking for my lost puppy.
Will you help me find him?)

In the depths of his black Camaro
The secret stache is ablaze
In the playground
Looking for a trick
A hairy upper lip
Makes a man sick

Tom Selleck
Sam Elliott
Freddie Mercury
Josef Stalin
Brad's Dad
George Segal
Prince Duncan
All had just a stache

Redneck scum packing trailer trash
Got a permed top mullet with
Just a stache

That is why you're so easy to bash
Cause you're a perverted clown with
Just a stache

Don the aviators on for action
With the Krokus album cranked and blasting
Sleeveless Maiden shirt with a golden chain
White high-top sneakers
Hall of Fame

Gene Wilder
Raul Julia
Ted Nugent
The Braintree cops
Ric's Mom
William Taft
Adolf Hitler
All had just a stache

Redneck scum packing trailer trash
Got a permed top mullet with
Just a stache

That is why you're so easy to bash
Cause you're a perverted clown with
Just a stache

(Would you like to go for a ride in my pickup truck?
You can trust me, I'm good friends with your parents.
I've got lots of candy in the back.
You can sit on my lap, I'm Santa's Helper.)

Redneck scum packing trailer trash
Got a permed top mullet with
Just a stache

That is why you're so easy to bash
Cause you're a perverted clown with
Just a stache
Just a stache
Just a scummy stache
Just a stache

Noded with permission.

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