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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If she were a senator, she'd be in someone's pocket right next to their Zippo and Zigzags"

• If she were an insect, she'd be a moth in search of a flame
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• Although you are right, you were wrong to be confident
• but you should be right here, right next to me
• They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• Tears must be shed to make room for the laughter
• The stars were bright that night she left me forever
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• As if it were the arm of someone who'd pulled me back from speeding traffic.
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• i keep my poetic license right next to my concealed weapons permit.
• All right. She can fly circles around Uranus, but where's the bathroom?
• She is not a girl, she is a woman. No, wait, she's a girl.
• Their dreams were scrawny stray dogs
• If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? (registry)
• Each thing she learned became part of herself, to be used over and over in new adventures
• She was too beautiful to be human
• Surah 60 She that is to be Examined
• She must be what cocaine is like
• She teaches a night class. Psychology 100, to be precise.
• If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• You do realise that this is going to be our lives for the next ten years?
• She could be a businesswoman
• You do not have a right to not be offended
• Pretending to be someone else online and talking to your real-life friends
• I'm claiming the right to be unhappy
• You have the right to be angry at me for breaking my heart.
• You're not going to be happy until you put someone's eye out
• Someday, someone will be here unearthing my bones
• Starling, you were right. I am the jealous kind.
• If I could be someone
• Speed limits were made to be broken
• I gotta go right now. Someone is videotaping me in my spaceship.
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• The Right To Be Offensive
• The right to be wrong
• There will be nobody there to shed a tear
• Accept this, and your next breath will be infinitely sweeter.
• If there were a slight, let it be fulsome
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• she can't remember what it's like to be found
• She makes sniffing sounds, and I don't know if she's snorting coke or weeping
• She's found the hole in reality. She knows its depth.
• She's smarter than me but she's also more quiet, therefore she has no personality which makes me feel better
• If someone wants to do something and it isn't hurting you... DON'T BE A FUCKING DICK
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• She had never kissed someone so old.
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Scissors that shed their safety
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• i assume it is considered odd to be so fond of someone based on text alone
• One must trust in the law, and keep within the heart the knowledge that the law of this world is the same right and just law that governed us when we were merely stars.
• If we define things as unreal, they may still be real in their consequences
• What if I were born in someone else's life?
• Things never were what they used to be
• All the things she had at one point wanted to be
• Together, we will be the oil drifts under the sea during the next incarnation of civilization
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
• And when she turned into a man, we were so proud
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• Oh be a fine girl kiss me right now sweetheart
• Their Eyes Were Watching God
• may their names be sung forever
• she couldn't go and be beautiful
• She was so pleased to learn that she was right
• You Were Right (user)
• To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries
• How my plans to sell someone's soul on eBay were foiled
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• If you tolerate this your children will be next
• A tentative laugh, she expected to be interrupted
• The next life will be better
• If you were a perfume, your name would be "Butterflies"
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• Choose your next witticism carefully Mr. Bond; it may be your last
• These images in their contrivance were the utter epitome of unconscious inertia
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• And the Hippos were Boiled in their Tanks
• if i'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now
• I don't plan to be dismembered in the next three months
• If she really wanted to fit in, she'd get a smaller dog.
• She opened her eyes and spoke in a very normal voice, just as if she were sane
• Who Wants to be the Next US President?!
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• The next time they would come, I would not be here.
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• Absolutely right, well done. And now, your next question is ...
• Sometimes friendships were meant to be destroyed
• The dark riders were not sleeping. They were only resting their eyes.
• she can scream so loud you'll be looking for your ears on the floor
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• I come home, she lifted up her wings. I guess that this must be the place.
• A Right to Be Hostile: A Boondocks Treasury
• It will be a love story ... for she will be my heroine for all time
• she's dreaming. a perfect life is right there on the pillow
• There are times when they seem to be right
• It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid
• How can someone worship a dead naked man nailed to a cross as their god?
• Her perception of how gorgeous she is will be evident in her lack of movement during sex
• If you meet a strange, confident woman, she may well be a witch
• Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you
• It's better to be alone than to wish you were
• I felt as calm as the day outside. My footsteps were certain below the neutral sky. I wished there were someone watching.
• Lying next to someone at night
• Next time don't drop acid and down a dozen shots right before the rehearsal dinner
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• On she went. The woods were deep and still.
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• We'd all be better off if shaking hands were making love, and children were found in the cabbage patch.
• Where we're headed, you'll be looking backwards
• That's a valid point, but right now we're focusing on...
• When she woke up, her hands were still dreaming
• Things to consider if you think someone might be dead
• The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• If only the spaghetti westerns were half as good as their titles
• If you tolerate this piss then your bitter will be next
• She spent most of the day sleeping in my shirt pocket
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• There were only twelve raindrops, she counted them on the windshield under heavy soft skies
• Reasons why I am ecstatic to be alive right now
• Where were you when someone asked where you were when something happened
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• The monkey children were everywhere back then. Their fedoras littered the roads.
• She tells stories as if she knows what the ending will be.
• With the Right Access, Anyone Can Be a Doctor
• More of The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• There should be laws requiring electric cars to make the Jetsons flying car noise
• Ranters and their rants
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• Brides on their Trial
• How to be a polite smoker in a non-smoking world
• Making the Movies VII Movie Stars Who Risk Their Lives for Realistic Films
• Chalant should be a word!
• rubies subtly set their skirts on fire.
• Why Can't We Be Friends?
• The strengths that opposed your will shall be obedient fire in your blood
• The cost of having nice things is the obligation to their maintenance
• Let's Make Up and Be Friendly
• It is their honor, not their humiliation
• That'll Be the Day
• Be My God
• Bright Star, Would I were Steadfast as Thou Art
• Tenchi, go get some more *hic* TEA!
• Don't be an IM phantom
• When we were liars things were seamless
• When my boat comes in, you will be the first to board
• you were reasonable
• How to Be Alone
• Trust Us, We're Experts
• Or at least it used to be
• We Were the Sun's Chosen Ones
• My RPG will be a work of art
• Why Luggage shouldn't be of a dull colour
• This morning, while you were still asleep
• How to be strong for her, when all you want is to depend on her
• If we were ghosts
• Linux would be dead without Windows
• Let's pretend we don't exist. Let's pretend we're in Antarctica!
• You cannot be in love with every beautiful thing you see
• We're both tops
• There Will Be Blood

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