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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I solemnly swear that this was an actual plot of at least two hours of network television in the 1970s"

• At least he was gentle
• Two hours and thirty-eight minutes to live
• One hour there was sunlight
• The distance between two atoms was the distance between 6 months ago and today
• The highlight of my night was two guys kissing
• The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel
• A poem for two pages of panel art for a comic that was never written
• Two of them. Hovering there like bloated gas giants in the heavens. Good God, it was beautiful.
• It was the least I could do
• I make two gallons of gas an hour
• America One Television Network
• Every poem about thunder was written under the protection of a roof, or, at the very least, an empty sky
• Archaic Network Television Love Letters vol. I
• The highlight of my night was two girls kissing
• I wish I was a half of a two
• The day I was showering with two black men
• Archaic Network Television Love Letters vol. II
• Reasons why you need at least 5 hours of sleep
• This was their finest hour
• At Least One Kitten was Obliterated
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Was that real, or did I dream it?
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• If I was president
• Bingu wa Mutharika
• I Thought I Was A Child
• the little friendship that never was
• I was floating in the ocean of his eyes.
• It was crippled, it was heart-felt. The latter invariably trumps the former
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• Because, perhaps she was cold
• Man Was Made to Mourn
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• Nebula Award Finalists: 1970
• I can eat a peach for hours
• in the dark humming hours of the night
• Only my hours spent gaming will stand between our world and total destruction
• 1000 Hours Deluxe American Superwar Gold!
• Hours pass, but she still counts the minutes
• At least animals can run away
• Fox Network
• Virtual Private Network
• Low level Nonsense and Network Theory
• Maquila Solidarity Network
• My Network Places
• The Moment of Complexity: Emerging Network Culture
• cloaked network
• social network
• plot density index
• I swear I'm not crazy
• How television car chases influenced me
• The Faceted Television Episode Guide-O-Matic Classification Scheme
• Television set
• Two men enter, one man leaves
• Two thumbs up
• The Nine Pea-hens and the Golden Apples: Part Two
• Lunch, two good men, books, how much I like them
• Two Years' Worth of Paperwork
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• Watching two lovers part
• Two Bishops and a King vs King
• IBM ViaVoice Rendition of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Two Towers
• Two o'clock in the morning, ninety four degrees...
• The Edwin Smith Papyrus: Case Two
• The Golden Bird: Part Two
• Two dandy old bleach blondes in a VW Rabbit
• The two tiered economy
• Two Tribes
• poems for two voices
• The Five Jars - Chapter Two
• Two killed in "transporter accident"
• Two Bad Ones
• When two legs are worth more than gold
• Was not cleanly unmounted, check forced
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• Lando was supposed to die
• It was more than perfect understanding
• I once dreamt that I was a c++ program
• Since I was knee-high to a grasshopper
• The sun was caught playing unashamedly in her auburn hair, setting our world on fire with giddiness
• It Was a Lover and His Lass
• The Haunting That Was Not
• I had never known someone whose death was imminent
• I was never broken
• Don't misunderstand this one, it was like palm against palm through a window
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Yesterday was Dramatic, Today is OK
• It was just a crush
• I was a college Jeopardy! champion
• Tribute to the Man Who Never Was (document)
• She always was devious in her beauty
• It was the tree that gave him away.
• How the Earth was destroyed
• The Epidemic That Never Was
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• Why I politely asked the contemporary lit major I was dating to stop writing me love letters
• So I was drinking with the son of Man the other night, and...
• When I Was A Baby
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• Open All Hours
• How to get anywhere on the Earth in one hour
• SimCity 4: Rush Hour
• Ordinary Least Squares
• Local Area Network
• Food Network
• Cable News Network
• How Network Adapters Work
• mobile network
• Building the physical part of a Concept Network representing bibliographic references
• Food Network Canada
• Metropolitan Area Network
• High Leverage Network
• sitcom plot clichés
• Comparisons between the plot of Eragon and Star Wars
• I don't have a television set
• Deconstruction of every single television advertisement, ever
• Last night I dreamed about television. I woke up crying.
• Just my two cents
• One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
• The Apes and the Two Travelers
• A Bisexual Built for Two
• Two Guys and a Girl
• two flusher
• Two Sides To Every Story
• two week notice
• The Parson's Tale: Part Two, Beginning
• Going With Two Dating Friends To A Movie
• The Two Gentlemen of Verona I.ii
• Make the computer work? I'll need two black candles and a chicken.
• How to multiply two digit numbers by 11 in your head
• Live on Two Legs
• Two people who are not touching
• Two times more -- or twice as much?
• Drinks for Two
• Press Space Two Continuum
• Two shadows walk with me as my only allies
• A tale of two janissaries
• The two types of religious messages in The Chronicles of Narnia
• hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• Jesus was Mexican
• She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
• deru kugi wa utareru
• New Mexico, or was that Oklahoma?
• The Man Who Was (user)
• Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter IV
• She dreamt she was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty field
• Raleigh Was Right
• Where the floodwaters went after the flood was over
• She was so pleased to learn that she was right
• That was the moment
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
• War is only fun on screen
• When I was young Time had no wings
• And Every One Was a Henry: A Magnificent Maryland Renaissance Oktoberfest E2 Throwdown!
• Freud was wrong. Freud is dead. That is all.
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• Democracy assassinated the family that was here
• A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
• To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.
• The artifact was completely impenetrable to all forms of matter except living human flesh
• Long and lean, he was a sex machine, and he schooled every girl in town
• All you ever did was let it happen
• I'm starting to think I was a waste of a perfectly good placenta
• Nothing Was Beautiful and Everything Hurt
• Actual Parameter
• 1 hour photo
• A trip home at rush hour
• The end of free AOL hours
• As the clocks were striking the hour

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