As there is heaps of SPAM about on how to attract women I've decided to do a post on how to repel them.

For some reason I have become an expert in repeling women. Not that they flee at the sight of me, it's a lot more subtle than that.

Some techniques guaranteed* to stop you from you from picking up:

* Staring
I find if you maintain eye contact for long enough you can turn anyone off.

* Poor communication skills
Don't talk to the woman you're trying to repel, assume she can read your mind or if you do talk only speak in mumbles or stutter.

* Impromptu Kung-Fu Demonstration
Just start punching and kicking at random, it doesn't matter if you don't know any Kung Fu, just make the moves up and suddenly start doing them.

* Random Obscure Quotes
Just start saying anything you think is funny from some obscure pop-culture reference or Monty Python quotes. Try and work at least one into every sentence.

Here's some good ones to baffle:

"PORNOGRAPHY AND SLASHER FILMS!"
"HATS TOO!! HATS TOO!!"
"AIYAH!!!!!!"

* Boring subjects for conversation
Constantly talk about your latest computer game/DVD player/stereo/car or anything you think is extremely interesting and are obsessive about.

* There's a fine line between following someone and stalking Do it just enough to turn someone off, but not enough to be arrested.

* Camouflage
I don't mean putting bits of plant in your hair, it's a lot more subtle than that. It has to do with the way the sense of smell is used a biological method to find a mate. Aim to confuse it by smelling like those who are seeking you - put on women's perfume, carry around a dead fish between your legs, etc.

* Insult dueling
Walk up to a woman and start insulting them. Really good ones will insult you back and you can keep it going. Hours of fun!


Signs to look for:
(How to know the technique you picked or one you made up is working.)

* The look of derision combined with the 'what the fuck?' expression. You'll know this as it brings a sudden pain that feels if you are being stabbed through the heart and you are instantly about an inch tall.

* Laughing at you in front of your friends
(See above.)

* She retreats to the ladies' toilet.
You came on a bit to strong didn't you? It worked though.

* "I've already got a boyfriend/girlfriend."
Yes I believe you, but sometimes it's just an excuse.

* "I've got a boy/girlfriend but they are currently herding Yaks in Outer Mongolia."
Iffy. Unless they hardly speak to each other.

* She kisses/puts her arms around her boy/girlfriend
This ones probably worth believing, so unless you want to try a threesome you don't have to worry.

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