It has to be created, by someone, someday, you know it. There's not a chance that we can make it without someone taking it upon themselves to write one, so that we can all see how Everythingified we all are...

Thanks quite much to MoJoe, anotherone, and liveforever for their question ideas, as I've used some of them, and will probably use more in the next draft - I just wanted to limit the first one to 250 questions.


The Everything Purity Test: First Complete Draft - Dated 10/18/01

If you see errors/omissions, or have suggestions for new questions/old questions to remove/any other interesting ideas, please /msg me.

    Basic Everything Usage

  1. Have you ever been to Everything?
  2. Have you ever been to Everything 2? (where do you think you are now?)
  3. Do you have a login id on Everything?
  4. Do you have a login id on Everything 2?
  5. Have you written a writeup on Everything?
  6. Have you written more than 50 writeps on Everything?
  7. Have you written more than 250 writeups on Everything?
  8. Were you an M-noder on Everything?
  9. Have you written a writeup on Everything 2?
  10. Have you written more than 50 writeups on Everything 2?
  11. Have you written more than 250 writeups on Everything 2?
  12. Are you an M-noder on Everything 2?
  13. Have you written more than 5000 writeups on Everything 2?
  14. Do you remember the announcement for Everything Quests?
  15. Do you remember the announcement for the Voting/XP system?
  16. Do you remember when the Chatterbox first appeared?
  17. Do you remember when Everything 2 first appeared?
  18. Do you remember when Everything's Best Users first appeared?
  19. Do you remember when Everything first appeared?
  20. Do you remember when there was an apostrophe bug?
  21. Do you remember more than one apostrophe bug?
    Do these mean anything to you:
  22. ... Zifter?
  23. ... Brian Eno?
  24. ... bs?
  25. ... wibbleday?
  26. ... every other Tuesday?
  27. ... :n/:rn?
  28. ... 512 characters?
  29. ... sebastian.slashdot.org?
  30. ... The Mystery Project?
  31. Did you participate in the Everything Civil War?
  32. Did you participate in The Nodeshell Rescue Team, The Nodeshell Creation Team, or The Nodeshell Destruction Team?
  33. Did you participate in The Content Rescue Team?
  34. Did you participate in the Everything Turf Wars?
  35. Did you participate in April Trolls Day?
  36. ... were you unwillingly sucked into it?
  37. Did you ever create a node starting with a space character?
  38. Did you ever link a period in your writeup?
  39. ...and had it lead somewhere?
  40. ...without using the pipe ('|') charater?
  41. Did you ever have a document you wrote posted?
  42. ... did you ever post a document yourself?
  43. Have you ever had editor powers?
  44. ... did you lose them?
  45. Have you ever had god powers?
  46. ... did you lose them?
  47. Have you killed a writeup?
  48. Have you nuked a node?
  49. ...by accident?
  50. ...and had it be an important node?
  51. Have you nuked a user?
  52. ...one that was still contributing?
  53. ...one that was on at the time?

    Noding Habits

  54. Have you ever created a node with your name in the title?
  55. Has anyone else created a node with your name in the title?
  56. ... an insulting node with your name in the title?
  57. Have you ever been on Everything's Best Users?
  58. ... since it was first created?
  59. Have you been in the top half of Everything's Best Users?
  60. ... the top ten?
  61. ... the best user?
  62. Are you Pseudo_Intellectual?
    Have you ever:
  63. ... noded for numbers?
  64. ... noded for XP?
  65. ... autonoded?
  66. ... written an autonoder?
  67. ... autonoded more than 50 nodes at once?
  68. ... crashed E2 via an autonoder?
  69. ... gone on a mad noding spree?
  70. ... nodeshelled?
  71. ... gone on a mad nodeshelling spree?
  72. ... noded while drunk?
  73. ... noded on crack?
  74. Have you ever added to Suggestions for E2?
  75. Have you ever added to Suggestions for Everything?
  76. Have any of your suggestions been implemented?
  77. ... because you suggested it?
    Have you ever done:
  78. ... soft linking as commenting?
  79. ... soft linking to offend?
  80. ... nodeshelling to offend?
  81. ... nodeshelling to offend while using the Everyone account?
  82. ... systematic downvoting?
  83. ... systematic downvoting while using the Everyone account?
    Have you ever noded:
  84. ... while at work?
  85. ... while at school?
  86. ... while in class?
  87. ... while drunk?
  88. ... while high?
  89. ... while asleep?
  90. ... in the nude?
  91. ... while having sex?
  92. Have you noded for more than an hour straight?
  93. ... more than 2 hours?
  94. ... more than 4 hours?
  95. ... more than 8 hours?
  96. ... more than 24 hours?
  97. Have you ever written a metanode?
  98. ... a metametanode?
  99. ... and had it only link to your own nodes?
  100. Have you ever added to a GTKY node?
  101. Have you ever created a GTKY node?
  102. ... had a node you wrote become GTKY on you?
  103. ... did you get a unhappy /msg because of it?
  104. Have you ever written a daylog?
  105. ... a dream log?
  106. ... an editor log?
  107. Have you ever written a writeup with strong opinions?
  108. ... that was a response to someone else's strong opinions?
  109. ... in response to Dman?
  110. Have your radical ideas ever occured to others?
  111. Have you told someone their radical ideas have occured to others?
  112. Have you enjoyed LESBIANS! MONKEYS! SOY!?
  113. Have you ever participated in an Everything Quest?
  114. ... all of them?
  115. Have you, by adding a writeup to a node, caused other writeups to be nuked?
  116. ... including the one you just added?

    Voting/Experience System

    Are you:

  117. ... above level 1?
  118. ... above level 5?
  119. ... above level 9?
  120. ... above level 12?
  121. ... >99?
  122. Have you ever had enough XP to advance levels, but not enough writeups?
  123. Have you ever had enough writeups to advance levels, but not enough XP?
  124. Have you ever lost a level from having writeups nuked?
  125. ...unintentionally nuked?
  126. Was your level ever hard coded?
  127. Do you have more than 100,000 XP?
    Have you had a writeup's reputation go:
  128. ... below -5?
  129. ... below -25?
  130. ... above 10?
  131. ... above 25?
  132. ... above 50?
  133. ... above 100?
  134. ... above 250?
  135. Do you have more than one writeup with reputation above 100?
  136. Have you ever written a writeup that you knew would get voted down?
  137. ... because you knew it would get voted down?
  138. Have you ever had a writeup cooled?
  139. ... more than 50 cooled?
  140. ... more than 5 cools on one writeup?
  141. ... with a negative reputation?
  142. ... by yourself?
  143. Have you ever had a node cooled?
  144. ... by yourself?
  145. Have you ever downvoted a writeup?
  146. ... because you disagreed with what they wrote?
  147. ... because of who they were?
  148. ... because they needed to learn how to spell?
  149. ... because they needed to learn how to integrate?
  150. ... because they needed to learn how to link?
  151. ... for no reason whatsoever?
  152. Have you ever cooled a writeup to get more attention to your writeup in that node?
  153. ... to get the writeup attention so it would be voted down?
  154. Have you ever been cursed?
  155. ... more than 5 times?
  156. Have you ever been blessed?
  157. ... more than 10 times?
  158. Have you turned off getting XP from voting?
  159. Are you a believer in XP stoicism?

    Everything Usage, Non-Noding

  160. Have you taken the Everything Purity Test before?
  161. Did you suggest questions for it?
  162. ... were they added?
  163. Have you ever done something just to lower your Everything Purity Test score?
  164. Have you ever used the everyone account?
  165. ... the EDB account?
  166. Any other shared account?
  167. Have you ever used the everyone account to vote for your writeups?
  168. ... to cool your writeups?
  169. ... on a regular basis?
  170. Have you ever had more than one login?
  171. ... and used it to vote on and cool the writeups of the other login?
  172. Have you ever had your e-mail address in your home node?
  173. ... was it @everything2.com?
  174. Have you ever had your real address and/or phone number in your home node?
  175. ... and received something unexpectedly from another noder?
  176. ... and it was something you didn't want?
  177. Have you ever nodevertised?
  178. ... intentionally?
  179. ... and the writeup's reputation went up?
  180. Have you ever been complimented by another noder publicly?
  181. Have you ever been complimented by an editor or god?
  182. ... publicly?
  183. Have you ever been insulted by another noder publicly?
  184. Have you ever been insulted by an editor or god?
  185. ... publicly?
  186. Have you ever been borged?
  187. ... for more than an hour straight?
  188. ... for no reason?
  189. Have you ever borged someone else?
  190. ... for no reason?
  191. Have you ever searched the chatterbox log to see if anyone talked about you when you weren't on?
  192. ... and they did?

    Everything In The Rest of your Life

  193. Have you ever downloaded the Everything Source Code?
  194. Have you ever installed the Everything code?
  195. Have you ever had an Everything up and running?
  196. ... has anyone else used it?
  197. Have you ever written anything code-wise for Everything or E2?
  198. Do you have code running on the Everything 2 site?
  199. ... on the Everything site?
  200. Did you help create Everything?
  201. Were you on when the Everything Finger broke?
  202. Did you node about it?
  203. Was your name listed enough times to fill the screen?
  204. Have you ever found a bug in Everything/Everything 2?
  205. ... did you report it?
  206. ... did you abuse it?
  207. ... did you report it by abusing it publicly?
  208. ... did you not report it so you could keep abusing it?
  209. Have you ever put brackets around text while not on Everything?
  210. ... around handwritten text?
  211. ... and had someone understand them?
  212. Have you ever made hand motions to try and simulate brackets when talking?
  213. ... and had someone understand them?
  214. Have you ever introduced someone else to Everything?
  215. ... and had them write a writeup?
  216. ... had them become a regular user?
  217. ... create more writeups than you?
  218. Have you ever created a node about the addictive nature of Everything?
  219. Have you ever chosen to node over more important activities? (work doesn't count)
  220. Have you ever chosen to node instead of perform personal hygiene activities? (not showering due to noding)
  221. Have you ever skipped a meal to node?
  222. ... skipped a day's worth of meals?
  223. Have you ever missed sleep due to noding?
  224. Have you ever followed links about an asschip?
  225. ... noded about an asschip?
  226. Have you been given an Everything Smurf name?
  227. Were you one of the original Everything Smurfs?
  228. Did you help come up with the original smurf names?
  229. Does November 13, 1999 mean anything to you?
  230. ... do you celebrate it as a holiday?
  231. Have you ever received a postcard from another noder?
  232. ... without asking for one?
  233. ... more than 5?
  234. Have you ever sent postcards to other noders?
  235. Have you ever noded about jessicapierce's hot ass?
  236. Have you met other noders in person?
  237. ... more than 10?
  238. Have you traveled to another city just to meet noders?
  239. ... to another country?
  240. Have you ever slept with a noder? (It doesn't count if you knew them before you were both on E2?)
    Have you ever dreamed:
  241. ... about Everything?
  242. ... about Everything 2?
  243. ... about noding?
  244. ... about other noders?
  245. Have you ever been warned that Microsoft is a bad word?
  246. Have you ever been assimilated into Everything?
  247. Have you ever played The E2 Drinking Game?
  248. ... did you get wasted?
  249. ... intentonally?
  250. ... with Nate and dem bones?


Scoring:

Rather simple. Add up the number of YES answers you have. Multiply it by 0.4. Subtract the result from 100. This is your percentage of purity when it comes to E2.

I won't give some fancy and arbitrary scale to measure yourself against - you can only measure against other noders. However, anything less than 25% pure and you really probably should spend a little less time here and more time on real life :)

This is the moJoe version of the test. :P
You will have a bad score if you are not evil; well, there are a few that could be stolen for the regular version, I just felt that it could use a little spice.

Have you ever masturbated because of something you found on everything?
...more than once?
...frequently?
Have you ever cried because of something posted to Everything?
...more than once?
Have you ever been angry at something posted on everything?
...more than once?
...frequently?
Have you posted a response to something lame?
...did your intellect make them look like a fool?
...do you do do it frequently?
...is it one of the principal reasons that you node?
Have you ever made someone angry with a post?
...more than once?
...do you do it frequently?
...is it one of the principal reasons that you node?
Has anyone ever reposted in anger to something you noded?
...did your argument stand up?
Has anyone ever softlinked something insulting to a node of yours?
...did it have your name in it?
...did the softlinked node actually have a writeup in it?
Have you ever noded something even though you knew it would get voted down?
Do you often node things with no care to what others think about it?
Have you ever noded something to start a flame war?
Are you a flame war incarnate?
Have you ever been targeted by the Right wing conspiracy?
Have you ever been targeted by the Left wing conspiracy?
If you had to guess, would you say that you are targeted by both?
Have you ever noded a strong opinion about abortion?
...the Left wing?
...the Right wing?
...guns?
...civil rights?
...political oppression?
...racial/cultural issues?
...money and social classes?
Was it well thought out?
Was it well recieved?
Have you ever noded via using the "Random Node" feature?
Have you ever done it for an hour?
...many hours?
...all day?
Have you ever noded a portion of a dictionary, slang file, jargon file, the bible or another large list/book that spanned many nodes?
...so much that people complained?
...did you tell them to stick it?
Has anyone ever insulted you in the chatterbox?
...in a node?
Have you ever been threatened on Everything?
...so much that you contemplated changing your login?
...did they follow through?
...have you taken shrapnell?
...are you hospitalized now?
Has anyone from eerything ever sent you a postcard?
...more than one?
...do you recieve holliday cards from other Everythingians?
...gifts?
...money?
Do you have a following?
...a cult?
...a small militia?
...are you dem bones?
Mine, which I foolishly posted under e2 purity test before I knew better:

Section 1: beginnings

Section 2: Nodes

    Have you ever…
  • Made a metanode?
  • Written a daylog?
    • regularly?
  • Written a dreamlog?
    • Regularly?
  • Written a Daily Evil?
    • Was it made up?
  • Have you ever been newsified?
  • Have you ever submitted an E2 Nuke request?
    • For someone else’s writeups?
    • For more than 5 things at a time?
  • Have you ever made a suggestion for e2?
    • Was it implemented?
      • Did you code it yourself?
  • Have you ever Noded for Numbers?
  • Have you ever noded while drunk?
    • On ‘Soft’ drugs?
    • On ‘Hard’ drugs?
    • Did you make it known in the chatterbox?
      • Were you bragging?
  • Have you ever added to a GTKY node?
    • Did you not realize it was a GTKYN at the time?
      • Did you have it nuked right away?
    • Was it vote dumped on?
      • Did you add a writeup specifically so it would be vote dumped on?
  • Have you ever noded about noding?
  • Have you ever made a nodeshell rescue?
  • Have you ever made a nodeshell?
    • Was it rescued?
  • Have you ever Autonoded?
    • With everyone?
      • With everyone because you didn’t want to ruin your nodefu?
Section 3: Homenode
    Does your homenode have in it:
  • ‘/me misses sensei’?
    • Do you really?
  • A list of your top x ranked nodes?
    • Your bottom x ranked nodes?
  • A homenode picture?
    • Do you change it regularly?
    • Did you make it specifically for your homenode?
    • Is your homenode pic now, or has it ever been, of a cat?
      • Was it not your own cat?
  • A list of your friends on e2?
    • Your enemies?
    • Is anotherone on either list? (-100 points, you’re obviously perfectly sane/pure/whatever) (Unless you want to be e2 corrupt, in which case, +100.)
  • Your email address?
    • Is it @everything2.com?
    • Is it @geek.com?
    • Is it @(your e2 username).com/org/tla?
  • Your ICBM home address?
    • Have you gotten mail?
  • Your home phone number?
    • Has anyone called?
  • Do you plan on adding this test score?
  • Do you spend more than an hour a week editing your homenode?
  • Do you have more than 20 bookmarks?
Section 4: Voting/Experience system
  • Add one point for each level you are. Level 1, add 1, level 13, add 13.
  • Do you know your nodefu…
    • Without looking?
    • To more than one decimal point?

    Have you ever…

  • been XP pack raped?
  • Committed XP pack rape?
  • Vote Dumped?
  • Used an E2 Node Tracker?
    • Did you write it?
  • Bragged about a node’s rep?
    • Outside of E2?
  • Nodevertised?
    • Was it voted up?
  • Used a C! of Death?
    • Was it voted down?
  • Have you ever sold a C!?
    • For real money?
  • Considered buying a C!? Don’t add any points, just /msg me for details.
  • Considered creating a new user just to vote up your own things?
    • did you?
  • Are you…

Section 5: Real life
  • Do you know any noders IRL?
  • Did you meet them after you knew them on E2?
  • Is your SO on E2? (I mean real SO, who you meet regularly and have been on dates and stuff. Not like, “NoderX is my girlfriend :)”.)
    • Did you meet them after you knew them on E2?
  • Do you own any E2 Merchandise?
    • Was it homemade?
  • Have you ever introduced someone to E2?
    • Are they still here?
  • In order to node, have you ever missed…
    • Sleep? (duh)
    • Class?
    • Work?
    • A wedding?
      • Your own?
        • Did you see that question coming?

Section 6: Miscellaneous

Scoring:

  • 0-1:
    BORG MEAT. NEXT!
  • 2-42:
    You've been to this site a few times, you might even stay.
  • 42-75:
    Yeah, you're cool. You're on your way to pedantry. You might make a lasting impression on this site. Of course, 100 years from now, will it matter?
  • 75-100:
    Ok, I respect you. You've obviously devoted some time to this place. You are most likely addicted to E2. Don't fight it- you'll be better for it. I think. I hope.
  • 100-125:
    Dang! Slow down. Take a deep breath, finish your Mountain Dew, and go outside. To buy more soda, of course.
  • 125-(whatever the maximum number of points there are, it's not like I'm gonna count them):
    Ok, you're probably above me on other users. You most likely have already lost all connections with your 'offline' life- why not just let go entirely? What's that? You have? Never mind, continue noding.

    My score, for the curious: 82. I'm not sure if this is good or bad.

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