It's never simple, never sweet. Always summed up as the ever-present dread of falling for a boy.

Never streaming-consciousness, always feelings untold. He doesn't want to know how I feel... he's a man... men fear emotions, men fear love and committment... So I go on, wondering what he's thinking (if anything), what to say next. I am subtle in my actions, when all I want is to scream "You are beautiful god damn it, we mix well together"!!!!!

I actually said something late at night to him, which I regret now, it sounds cheesy in retrospect, but it's what I felt. I said "I feel your energy... and I like what I feel".

What if people said exactly what was on their minds all of the time - everything? What if people lived in a constant state without inhibition? What are we so afraid of? I don't know anyone who ever says the entire truth all of the time. So many rules in this society. TACT SICKENS ME!!!

I suppose I should defy rules and express everything, ask him to indulge me by telling me everything.

F*** these masks, these facades that the ego creates in hopes of protecting us from pain. Pain is inevitable and without it we wouldn't be human, we wouldn't have experiences, we wouldn't learn. From now on, I refuse to fear getting hurt by a man, I refuse to fear rejection.

This woman's perspective.
I think this is one of the very reasons I love this site. Every human experiences that feeling of loneliness in their lives at one point or another. When you see someone expressing the exact opinion or philosophy or answer you've come to, somehow loneliness just fades away.
I am sick with every rule this society ever placed on me. I think I've found this recent desire to be honest with people because I was hurt really bad for not being so. I've begun telling people immediately the assumptions that I am putting on their words and actions so that they can tell me if I'm wrong. I feel this is good till I can stop putting assumptions on things all together. That is a harder task than I knew till a month ago. To be able to say exactly what I am thinking is also harder than I imagined but the results have been so good that I'm not going to stop trying. I like your perspective and I just want you to know that you're not alone in your belief.

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