Whereas I love (sarcasm) trying to sleep through nightmares and let the absolute terror of them keep me huddled in fear under my covers, I thought it would rather be a better idea to spend the 4 more hours until any sane person would wake up with my lights and computer on. With that said...

Something evil was following me. The whole night. It wasn't tangible, although it showed up in various forms, and each time it scared the shit out of me.
  • Spent a good half of the night half asleep, half awake, thinking that some psychotic maniac was waiting outside my bedroom door with an axe.

  • When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed that said person had killed one of my friends brutally in the woods, which I and two other people had been witness to. Now this psycho freak had to stalk down all the people who had seen him do the crime and kill us in turn. He was standing right outside my window, grinning up at me with an evil smile, and stroking the blade of his axe... but I had to pretend I was asleep so he wouldn't see me staring back at him.

  • Something... not the evil guy... was trying to get in my room. Scratching at my door, and a voice croaking, thick and musty, "Let me in..." No way in hell. Heard someone whistling an eerie tune... yet more evil. And then my door came flying open, and someone was on the verge of walking in when I woke myself up screaming "Get out, get out!"

  • When my heart stopped pounding, and I convinced myself that all was fine, and I was still safe in my bed, I fell back asleep and dreamt I was sitting in a church, staring out a window... there was a knocking on the door, and the priest went to go answer it... the priest disappeared. Instead, a shrunken, yellow, hunched-over creature came back in his place. It looked like a dead bald man, and had a horrible small pinched face. It turned to me and bared its teeth, hissing. We locked eyes, and it pointed one crooked finger at me. "No fucking way," I said, waking myself up again.

So it's 5 am. Too bad. I'm not going back to sleep, psychos and weird vampire things bedamned.

I left from police station, and on the stairs I reached lower stairs slower than normally. I didnt even touch the last step, and because there was a downhill to the right, I somehow turned there to see how far I would float. I was almost at the end of the hill when I noticed some of my friends, and they hadnt noticed anything strange about me yet (well, not any more than in real life..). My legs were still at normal stepping position, and I told my friends that this was still the same step I was taking down the stairs long way from here, and they noticed that it was something unusual. The downhill ended, but for everyone's suprise, I still didnt fall to the ground, but stayed floating close to the surface. This was unexplainable, and only theory I thought of was that during the downhill I had somehow broken free from earth's gravitational pull. My friends were leaving, so I swum in air away with them, carefull not to touch the ground because that might return the gravity.

It all started out as a Roswell episode essentially. For the most part I was essentially a camera man following Michael. The bad aliens had devised a plan based on the theory behind the You couldn't use a time machine to visit the 13th century node. They broke us (the good aliens) up into two groups and sent us on this search for something in the woods. each group had a walkie talkie but the one Michael had was booby trapped. They had modified an old alien tech so that whoever used it would be transported in time but not space and die in the vacuum of space.

Fortunately Michael knew this but the question was how was he going to turn the tables on them without letting them know he knew. Eventually he hatched a plan involving a huge home telescope pointed at the sun with the eyepiece pointed at the walkie talkie.

Then we were in a parking lot at night running towards our car. The aliens knew we had something amazingly valuable hidden there and they had to have it. It was so valuable that they gave up all pretence of hiding among the humans and froze them all in place. My perspective changed to that of Max. We had made it to the car first and I was laying on top of it reaching through the slightly opened sun roof trying to use my powers to make the thing come to me. Bad aliens had almost reached the car.

The scene changed, and jumped back in time a little bit. It was now back to the same time as the events at the beginning of the dream and I (masukomi not Roswell character) was talking with a female noder who shall remain unnamed. She was working behind the counter in a pharmacy. We were totally doing the flirting thing but she was working and not allowed to really socialize. So, she was would encode words in these double sided tooth brushes. I could read them by feeling them, kinda like braille, but I found it much easier to stick them in my mouth and run my tongue over the bristles even though I realized this looked a bit silly in the middle of a pharmacy. After a couple of tooth brushes she switched to writing notes on this little pharmacy notepad which she would leave in this pamphlet holder at the end of the counter.

In retrospect this is of course completely idiotic but still kinda cute in one of those innocent first crush kinda ways. I just couldn't wait to read the next note and each one was separated by lots of eye contact and blushing.

The scene switched again, and for some reason she had a different body. I liked her real body better but hey I'm not in control of these dreams. The new body had a bad haircut too. We were standing outside of her house on the porch and she had her back against the door frame. We were revealing to each other how we really felt, except I wasn't really me any more. I was and evil alien who had made themselves look like masukomi. The things she said were very touching, and made my heart go pitter pat, and then I started to get confused about what my character was supposed to know when I was me again since she would have thought that this happened with me, except it didn't, but I was there, only not really. Then came a wonderful kiss which I loved but made me feel bad because it wasn't really me she was kissing even though she thought it was.

Again the scene switched and she and I (real me again) were in this bathroom together. Everything was covered in small off-white tiles with a green line running horizontally around the room at eye level. It was really just a shower room since it didn't have anything but shower heads in it except for one end where there was a shower curtain around one section. The scene began with her in a towel helping Michael (see there was a point to the whole beginning of this log) to crawl out of a window at the far end of the room.

Then the three shower heads were all suddenly on (bad continuity editing I admit) making us wet, warm, and steamy. I was wearing a cottony, green, pull over that hung down to mid-thigh and was starting to get soaked and heavy. But she removed her towel and we closed the space between us. Her hands pressed against my sides as I ran mine down her back.

But, I pulled away, I didn't want to but I had to. I cared about her, and it wasn't right to go any farther without telling her my secret. I was an alien. I knew she would be ok with it but I still needed to tell her before the pull over came off and there was no going back.

IRL the pullover belonged to illumina (do you still have that babe?). The walkie talkie was seen on the hip of a bartender at the e2 frog pond gulp the theory about time travel was because I had read that node not too long before going to bed. The car wasn't mine. I'm not an alien.

I found myself in a castle, seperated from my friends. No recollection who these friends are, just the knowledge of seperation. Neither do I have any idea of where the castle is, but the scenery is remniscent of Geisha. The oldest lady says odd things and makes eccentric demands, there is a girl who wants to see me - the old hag forbids this. The old hag has a daughter, about sixty years old, who tells me that the eldest is quite extravagant in her wishes in bed. I close my ears and yell. They laugh.
Eventually I make it out of the castle, but the memory of the old hag lingers even now.

addendum: this morning I called my grandmother, she is doing fine

Ah! I am filled with immense joy today, my fellow noders. My dream was a dream, but its vividity washed away all my worries. Man, I sound like Fraggle Rock or something.

Anyways, this was like some Total Recall dream where everything is just the way I want. I had the girl: Natalie. I had the hair: Frizzy Spiky Black (I looked a lot like my uncle). I had the clothes. I don't think I'm a materialistic person (I'd like to think so anyways) so wealth didn't matter much to me, but having Natalie by my side, I was truly in a dream.

We were in Chinatown, Montreal. We were in front of the old cinema and for some reason, I was in the washroom of the cinema combing my hair. I was The Fonz. I was totally another person. The person I've always wanted to be. The guy with ultra-confidence and high self-esteem.

That's pretty much all I remember. I remember kissing Natalie and holding her in my arms as if I was some kind of heroic vampire. Ah dreams rule and dreams will all they will be.

To some, dreams are very important and spiritual, perhaps they are the link which keeps our mind in reality.

The dream world is sometimes called "The world that is just beyond your sight, but always in the heart."

I had two dreams tonight.

The first was a bizzare my cat sabretooth vs. a gigantic propeller thingy. Myself, Ryoko (the cartoon character), and Melissa were watching out our window which overlooked a beach with a palmtree in it. For whatever reason Mihoshi was on the beach, and my cat sabretooth was running around the beach but scrambled into the palm tree when we recieved word that a gigantic plane thingymabobbie out to kill stuff was headed our way. The gigantic propeller thingy pinched my cat's tail who tried to jump out of the palm tree but still got a good deal of his hair cut off his tail. Mihoshi screamed in valley girl style terror when my cats tail swelled lengthwise about 30 feet long. She quickly ran to prop up the tail which lost it's prehensile quality and began flopping to the ground. Someone whispered in my ear that this ment my cat would die. My mother commented that she hoped the cat dies soon, because he must be in immense pain. Mihoshi, still mounting a vain attempt to save my cats life, begins wrapping his tail around a large barken tree where the beach turns to forest in a screw pattern, so that the blood could flow through the tail naturally. Ryoko turned me to the side in our confrence room from where we were overlooking the situation, and said simply, "Shan, this is for your own good." and went "BOO!" while making a scary face and waving her fingers around.

I woke up in a cold sweat...

Dusting myself off I prepared myself for another sojurn into the dreamworld. This time, i'm dreaming about having to go to school! I'm going to be late! No time to shower. I run up the street, hell, i'm so worried about being late I *fly* up the street. I notice that in the dreamworld, apartments are usually houses and the layout of the city is very diffrent, but I know it by heart, because thats where the dreamworld is. I rush into class and put my books on the desk! As it turns out i'm 20 minutes early, woohoo! I decide to go out to the park for a cigarette, but then I realise that in my rush to get to school I forgot them and my lighter! Argh! I fly back home down the streets and arrive to notice that the sun is now shining as if it is noon, but it is still only 7:35am, there is a brownish tan pick-up truck in one of the parking spaces and I find this to be ominious. As I walk back into my house I notice the door is slightly cracked and unlocked, as I look inside I grab a convinently placed sake bottle and wield it as a weapon. Creeping around the darkened house with all of the blinds drawn, I comb thru each room, finding nothing amiss, until I go into the bathroom. Lying in the bathtub is a body, I don't know who, so I draw back the shower curtains, and see, THE DEAD BODY OF LISA SIMPSON!, whom, for whatever reason, I identify as my sister. I swear vengence! I get my cigarettes and lighter, I begin going back to school but notice that it's 7:58! Class starts at 8:00! I'M GOING TO BE LATE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo............

And the light throws me back into this pile of comforters and pillowcases....

I usually don't node dream logs, but this was surreal enough to deserve it:

I dreamt that N'Sync was doing a concert down the street from my house, and that all the teenage girls of the midwest were converging upon my peaceful dwelling.

Had a repeat of a dream I had about 3 weeks ago as I took a nap.

I walked down a dark alley where I found a knife on the floor. I picked it up and stared at its beauty and looked at the blood on it from a small light above a local diner. I walked around for a while and felt a little strange. I saw a young woman walking along the street with her dog, a poodle. She saw me and said, "Hello." I followed her for a while and ended up pushing her into a little corner and stabbed her with the knife. I felt the blade slide into her stomach and felt the push back that the organs gave me from the impact. I took it out of her and stabbed her again in the chest. The dog barked for a long time as I ran away.

Covered in blood I soaked myself with a water hose that I saw in a backyard. While doing so a tall and big man came out to see what was going on. He saw me and told me to get off his property. I soaked myself a little more and he started coming towards me. When he was getting real close to me I dropped the water hose and lunged at him with the knife going deep into his chest. He cried in pain but punched me in the face as he went down. I stabbed him again and again in his own backyard. I resumed soaking myself.

I don't remember the following two killings but I know they happened. I'm now in a room with a guy from high school that I knew but didn't really know. We were talking for what seemed to be 2 minutes and I stabbed him in the arm. The thing was that he didn't even flinch at the pain so I stabbed him in the other arm. I stabbed him in between his ribs and he was covered in blood and began to wince at the pain. He would not die so I took this other knife and stabbed him in the neck with them feeling the kinves hit his neck bone. I took them out and he still was not dead.

All of a sudden a girl was in the room with us carrying a doll which she said was a voodoo doll and would represent Gilbert (the guy). She turned the doll on its back and sliced it from the neck to the buttocks and blood formed a small lake in the slit. Gilbert was still not dead so I cursed the girl and grabbed the doll. I stabbed the doll between its ribs and pushed up with it spilling the contents of the doll, one of which was a heart that I immediately chewed on and ate. Gilbert was still not dead so I cursed him and threw him on the bed and shoved an ice pick in between his ribs on his heart side and he squirmed and squirmed.

I heard a voice outside of that of my father's and I got scared thinking he was going to open the door and she what I had done. I hear the door knob being turned and as the door opened I woke up to my dad waking me up to tell me that he was home.

Not the weirdest dream I've had but an interesting one at best.
Karmic Theory & Practice

  • I receive a subconscious lesson from Keith Jarrett about karma and the virtues of cleansing oneself of it. The next dream was my application of this teaching.

  • Night desert in a sleepy Southern California town. The foothills lay under moonlight, sleeping lions. I can see them out the curved picture windows that wrap around half the wall of a circular room. I'm in a studio apartment with my ex-girlfriend, Radha, and she is pouring her heart out to me about our relationship of one and one-half years, ended two and one-half years ago. The conversation is highly dynamic with both of us walking all around the room, voices alternating between loud and soft, Radha alternating between affection and tears. It is virtually a re-creation of our break up scene. I feel myself playing out the same dramas that afflicted me back then. I literally feel as if my ego/emotional state from that era has replaced my current one. As I watch her, I watch myself, becoming more and more aware that this is not the person I am; not someone caught up in deeply grooved behavior lines of impatience, stubborness and selfishness. I realize that I am a mirror, reflecting the ego of the person I am interacting with. Now I feel my heart and organs constricted in knots of anxiety, fear, self-loathing. I become aware that I'm experiencing Radha's experience. Inside her I feel the unspoken center of her pain: she thinks that I hate her and regret ever being with her.

    Instantly, I use my will and redefine the moment. My voice softens as my body language soothes her. I tell her sincerely that I loved her when we were together. I tell her that I cherish our relationship as a vital source of learning about her, myself, and relationships in general. I do not regret that we were together. I would not trade it for anything.

    I tell her all this as we are both facing a mirror, me behind her. She is transformed. And a half-smile lights up her face as she looks at my reflection and gives a meek reply: "Really?"

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