A food item commonly found on party trays, at family gatherings or at Super Bowl parties or any other social event with snacks. Closely related to the cheese ball, it is essentially some processed cheese formed into a vaguely loglike shape and covered in nuts. Generally not eaten plain, the most popular method of cheese log consumption involves spreading a portion of it upon a cracker. By cracker I mean a thin dry food item, and not a person who illicitly breaks into computer systems. Spreading cheese log on fellow human beings is frowned upon unless the parties in question have some sort of a cheese fetish.

To get the proverbial log rolling, here's a Cheese Log recipe I dug up so you can fashion one in the comfort of your own home:

2 8 oz pkgs cream cheese, softened
1 10 oz pkg sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 tbsp chopped red pepper or pimento
1 tbsp Finely chopped onion
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
4 tsp lemon juice
1 dash of pepper
1 dash of salt
Chopped pecans
Chopped parsley


In large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and cheddar cheese at medium speed with electric mixer until well blended. Add remaining ingredients except pecans and parsley; mix well. Chill several hours or overnight. Shape into log; garnish with nuts and parsley. Serve with crackers.

Also, some years ago I came to the decision that cheese log made a fine insult, somewhat akin to calling someone a hoser. The etymology of the word is somewhat unclear due to the random workings of my brain's insult lobe. The process somewhat followed the chain of Garden Weasel->Cheese Weasel->Cheese Log. It has now entered standard usage for quite a few people I have come in contact with. Another fine example of the bastardization of language.