Captain Haddock is Tintin's faithful companion in his adventures throughout the world. We originally met him in the book The Crab with the Golden Claws, where he was Captain of a freighter used for smuggling without his knowledge. Since then, he has come up in the world, using monies borrowed from Professor Calculus and Red Rackham's Treasure to purchase his ancestral homestead, Marlinspike Hall, outside London.

Captain Haddock's first name, apparently, is Archibald. His ancestor Sir Francis Haddock defeated the pirate Red Rackham in the Caribbean. The Captain (as he's known in the books) has a bit of an affinity for whisky, especially Loch Lomond. This can result in his being either unavailable or non compos mentis at critical moments, but he always manages to help bumble through in the end.

In the original version, Captain Haddock's castle is Moulinsart, which was modeled by Herge after a real French castle, Cheverny. Of course Moulinsart is not outside London, and, as far as I can tell, we never know for sure where it is located. But he still loves Loch Lomond. Albert Herring tells me that the "sart" element sounds like Brabant-Wallon placenames. After all, Hergé was from Belgium.

His ancestor is François Haddock.

And here are the original Captain Haddock's curses in French:

Accapareur, amiral de bateau-lavoir, amphitryon, anacoluthe, analphabète, analphabète diplômé, anthropophage, anthropopithèque, apache, apprenti-dictateur à la noix de coco, arlequin, astronaute d'eau douce, athlète complet, autocrate, autodidacte, aztèque, babouin, bachi-bouzouk, bachi-bouzouk des Carpates, bandit, bayadère de carnaval, bibendum, boit-sans-soif, brontosaure, brute, bulldozer à réaction, canaille, canaque, cannibale, cannibale emplumé, catachrèse, cataplasme, cercopithèque, chauffard, chenapan, choléra, cloporte, coléoptère, coloquinte, coloquinte à la graisse de hérisson, concentré de moule à gaufres, coquin, cornemuse, cornichon, cornichon diplômé, corsaire, coupe-jarret, cow-boy de la route, crème d'emplâtre à la graisse de hérisson, crétin de l'Himalaya, crétin des Alpes, crétin des Balkans, cro-magnon, cyanure, cyclone, cyclotron, Cyrano à quatre pattes, diablesse, diplodocus, doryphore, dynamiteur, écornifleur, écraseur, ectoplasme, ectoplasme à roulettes, égoïste, emplâtre, empoisonneur, enragé, épouvantail, esclavagiste, escogriffe, extrait de cornichon, extrait d'hydrocarbure, fatma de prisunic, faux jeton, faux jeton à la sauce tartare, flibustier, flibustier de carnaval, forban, Frère de la côte, froussard, galopin, gangster, garde-côte à la mie de pain, gargarisme, garnement, gibier de potence, gredin, grenouille, gros plein de soupe, gyroscope, hérétique, hors-la-loi, hurluberlu, hydrocarbure, iconoclaste, Inca de carnaval, invertébré, ivrogne, jet d'eau ambulant, jocrisse, Judas, jus de réglisse, kroumir, krrtchmvrtz, Ku Klux Klan, lâche, lépidoptère, logarithme, loup-garou à la graisse de renoncule, macaque, macrocéphale, malappris, malotru, mamelouk, marchand de guano, marchand de tapis, marin d'eau douce, marmotte, mégacycle, mégalomane, mercanti, mercenaire, mérinos, mérinos mal peigné, misérable, mitrailleur à bavette, mouchard, moujik, moule à gaufres, mousaillon, mrkrpxzkrmtfrz, mufle, Mussolini de carnaval, naufrageur, négrier, noix de coco, nyctalope, olibrius, ophicléide, ornithorynque, oryctérope, ostrogoth, ours mal léché, pacte à quatre, pantoufle, papou, papou des Carpates, paranoïaque, parasite, Patagon, patapouf, patate, vieille perruche bavarde, phénomène, phlébotome, phylloxéra, pignouf, pirate, pirate d'eau douce, pirate du ciel, polichinelle, polygraphe, porc-épic mal embouché, poussière, profiteur, projectile guidé, protozoaire, pyromane, pyrophore, rapace, rat, ravachol, renégat, rhizopode, rocambole, sacripant, sajou, saltimbamque, sapajou, satrape, sauvage, sauvage d'aérolithe, schizophrène, scolopendre, scorpion, serpent, simili-martien à la graisse de cabestan, soûlographe, sous-produit d'ectoplasme, tchouk-tchouk nougat, technocrate, tête de lard, tête de mule, tigresse, topinambour, tortionnaire, trafiquant de chair humaine, traîne-potence, traître, troglodyte, trompe-la-mort, vampire, vandale, va-nu-pieds, vaurien, végétarien, Vercingétorix de carnaval, ver de terre, vermicelle, vermine, vipère, vivisectionniste, visigoth, voleur, voleur d'enfants, zapotèque, zèbre, zigomar, zouave, zouave interplanétaire, Zoulou.
Tintin's quick-tempered friend Captain Haddock was renowned for his bizarre curses, which ranged from a simple "dogs!" to a complex "anthropophagus!" to a surreal "vegetarians!" He was also fond of exclaiming "Billions of blue blistering barnacles!" and also "Ten thousand thundering typhoons!" If he was really annoyed he would occasionally proclaim "Billions of blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon!"

A small selection of curses include:

So next time someone annoys you, how about surprising them? Call them a gyroscope or an interplanetary goat, it should do the trick.

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