I grew up near Los Angeles
. Growing up, i thought i hated the place. I couldnt stand the people, the environment
, the boring weather
. But later, i discovered that really, it was just being stuck in one place that I hated. The city was so huge, and i was stuck in a little boring corner of it. Growing up in Southern Califorina, it is a part of me, and defines a lot of who i am.
Being the restless type, i always thought I'd move out of state. I thought maybe I'd live out in Colorado, or Washington. Somewhere with lots of mountains, big storms, and less people. After all, it's all in the United States, how different can it be? I'd passed through these areas briefly and liked them. The mountains in Colorado, the sunrises in Utah, the thunderstorms in New Mexico.. are amazing. But after going through college in California, i realized that California is who i am. California is the way i see the world.
I went back to Colorado last week. But something was different - me. I used to try to fight how i was, fight the different, free part of me that is California. I don't anymore. My hair is blue, I say what i think, i drive how i want to,and I can't take the Colorado cold too well. My girlfriend is beautiful and Asian and has green hair. There arent really any Asians in Steamboat Springs, nor is there anyone with green or blue hair. Basically, we are what people hate about California. But we are how we want to be. While we were there, we were harassed by the cops, given dirty looks, and generally made to feel unwelcome. By the time i left, i was glad to be going home, despite the beautiful, soft snow in Colorado
Whether i like it or not, I am California. I always will be. I can pretend to be something else, but I won't be happy. So i guess I will probably always live here. I can wander through other places, but i will always come back. I guess thats why The Eagles said 'You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave'. But really, its not too bad of a prison. There's so much here, so many mountains and deserts and coastlines, so many people and bands and opportunities, that i could spend many lifetimes here and not get bored.
I am not really an American. I am a Californian. And really, i like it that way.