So, ladies, IWhoSawTheFace has challenged the women of Everything2 to come clean: admit it, you are a shallow bitch. Ah, yes: prove you are so competitive, tasteless and predatory, you'll start a cat fight for IWho's amusement.
Does anyone else smell a little passive-aggressive bullshit here? Oh, no, he doesn't think most women are like that, not at all. He probably just wanted to write a discreet description of some woman who recently dumped "a close friend."
Sure, IWho, my mood is sunnier when the house is well-stocked with fair trade, organic coffee and premium chocolates; but it's easy enough replenish the stash, I just send my man out to get supplies at halftime. Baby, it takes monthly minimum payments of $600 to Nordstrom to get my panties in a twist, and yes - I really did spend that much on this dress, and I'm going to keep it! Okay, okay, I confess that once - but only once - I was tempted to toss a piece of toast at a boyfriend. But I was very young, the potential missile was actually a pancake, and I didn't do it. I just dumped him.
Women of honor, just say no. No to titillating IWho. No to airing those petty grievances. While you're on a roll, just say no when IWhoSawTheFace asks for your email address. Something tells me if you dated him, you'd be tossing Aunt Jemima products at his smug mug in no time.
(Ahhh, I feel better now.)
Oh, I'm sorry IWho, I really didn't mean that the way it came out. Really, you are a sweetie-pie to tolerate my moods. I have a lot of things on my mind, and I shouldn't have vented on you this way. Give me a big hug, yes - I forgive you, too. You know I love you.
Will you go get me a coffee at halftime, honey?