Just when you think you know how life works, and what to expect around every corner. Just when you think the rules of the game are in stone.
That is when it hits you.
Today I experienced a new feeling.
It began with the feeling of going to
supper with a lovely girl who it seemed I was caught in an
infinite feedback loop of returning feelings toward eachother (
each time slightly amplified). Comforted with plans to see her again next Wednesday
once finals were done, it ended with an innocent kiss
or three. It was a magical evening, and I counted myself lucky to have been a part of it. It was the beginning of a nice summer, and the beginning of something that could last.
And then the bomb dropped.
Out of nowhere, an
IM pops up, "I really think you're a great guy, and you make me laugh. I tried to at first, but I'm just not attracted to you. I hope you understand."
My heart did not sink into my feet. It stayed about level with the rest of the world. I minimized her window for a few minutes (maybe to let her sweat a little?).
"That's cool. No hard feelings... Take care, doll! Honestly I wasn't exactly sure how it would work out between
a pastoral small-town girl, and an ambitioius
city-boy technocrat."
Now I know. It ends. It ends very quickly.
PS, In retrospect, this new feeling -- it is closure. There is so much cowardice in
American dating for this to be a common thing. It's so much easier to just not pick up the phone. This is a feeling I should welcome in the future.