user since
Tue Jul 31 2001 at 03:16:11 (19.5 years ago )
last seen
Sat Aug 2 2003 at 17:53:09 (17.5 years ago )
number of write-ups
28 - View myriad's writeups (feed)
level / experience
1 (Novice) / 565
little known musicians, multiplicity
uc santa cruz
"we've got to learn to respect what we don't understand" ~amy ray
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i am wineberries, fat and ripe in a wooded corner. i am soft rain on slate roofs. i am new guitar strings, shiny copper and silver; i am sansha canvas ballet slippers.

i am kindness and compassion, i am bitchy and unforgiving. i am tiny and scared. i am shiveringnaked. i am androgynous, i am cargo pants, i am baby tees, i am jeans and turtlenecks. i am binding my breasts, i am short skirts and lipstick. i am butch, i am femme, i am male, i am female. i am shirtless on a hot day in the city. i am hiding under my bed. i am a blanket and popcorn on a rainy day.

i am a storm on the ocean. i am a labyrinth of mazes. i am ten connected fantasy trilogies with another sequel coming out next month. i am gullible, i am naive. i am sophisticated beyond your mind's limit. i am snow in july. i am heatstroke in january. i am burning to death in a blizzard. i am a turreted castle. i am a deep, dark dungeon. i am a mountain in Wales. i am an unknown spring deep in pine forest. i am an endless cave. i am a city in the clouds, all glassy and twisted and bright.

i am a woman's husky alto, i am a squeaky airy soprano. i am bass. i am amy ray's voice, melissa etheridge's words, ani difranco's funk, sleater kinney's edge, and melissa ferrick's soul. (oh, i wish.) i am a night at the opera. i am a laura love bass line. i am punk, i am rock, i am folk, i am soothing, i am strident. i am singing silly songs on a road trip and annoying everyone in the car. i am club triangle sunday nights, i am setting the rhythm, i am dancing like a hippie, i am the man and the woman in a pas de duex. i am an arabesque, i am triple pirouettes from fourth. i am character shoes. i am drumbeats. i am movement. i am triggering myself all to hell.

i am a razor slid deep into vulnerable wrists. i am disturbing, i am insane, i am pretending, i am shaking.

i'm also (in more prosaic terms) a multiple (diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder), a singer/songwriter/music fan, a student, and transgendered. i love mucking about on the web (especially at my site, i wish i had more words to give to everything. (actually, i found everything while trying to mark the time while i was suicidal. really. i still am, waiting for this dark wave to pass. how strange that i've been able to find any words at all. but i have.)

that's not all: it's never all, never with a million words. but it'll do.