This process works on Windows XP and 2000; I can't guarantee any other platforms.

Right. So the Windows keys are helpful when you’re on the desktop. However, if you've happened to bump into one in the middle of a game that uses the whole screen, you are likely aware of the tendency it has to revert you back to the desktop -- causing you not only precious seconds, but your voice in addition if you make a habit of yelling at your computer when it disobeys you. If the game designers felt particularly devious, they wrote the game so it crashes upon your re-entry from the desktop, making the Windows key the Rick Fox of Qwertyland. Therefore, one of two scenarios are likely: A) You’ve already pried them off and incinerated them, or B) You desperately want to pry them off and incinerate them. But wait! Perhaps B can be avoided?

The following process has been vaguely mentioned a few times in different nodes; none are very specific. In that light, here is a step-by-step, five minute process that totally h4x0rZ your comp and makes the keys in question do blissfully nothing upon a slight nudge.

  1. Start the Registry Editor (Start --> Run --> type "regedit")
  2. Go to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE \ SYSTEM \ CurrentControlSet \ Control \ Keyboard Layout
  3. From the Edit menu select New --> Binary value
  4. Give this new value the name Scancode Map
  5. Double-click the new value, and enter the following hexadecimal data (0 = zero): 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 03 00 00 00 00 00 5B E0 00 00 5C E0 00 00 00 00 (Note: After the 8th set of 00, you will probably be sent back to the beginning of the next line. This is normal.)
  6. Close the registry editor
  7. Log off, or restart Windows for the changes to take effect

That's it. The end. Decades of anguish solved in five minutes. It will affect all users on the computer in question, so be warned. The end, again.


- Node upgraded thanks to suggestions from Kit and OldMiner.