A single tear
burns as it falls down one cheek. I wipe it away and stare at it as it sits quietly on the back of my hand. It stares back at me, reflecting back all my sorrow
, all my sadness
, all my despair
A single tear is all I will shed. I must claim responsibility for my own failures and my own foul-ups. Tears can do nothing to reverse time. Time is like an arrow, traveling only one way and never reversing. I can never undo what I have already done. Regret, like tears, also does me no good.
Today, I realized that my dreams for the future would become only unattainable dreams. By my own folly, my own foolishness in sating only my immediate wants and needs rather than planning far into the future, I have single handedly destroyed my future. Not only that, I will be forced to be a parasite on my aging parents longer than expected as well. What did they do to deserve that? For all their hardships and trials, they have raised an irresponsible, impatient little brat who is going no where in life. Their hopes and dreams for me too, are going to dissipate into nothingness.
Today, I am nothing but a big disappointment. Allow me to wallow in my self-pity for a few more hours. Then shall I try to rise up again and set right what I can still salvage.