the ice that filled your blood the first time you made her cry

the time an infant fiercely gripped your finger in her perfect fist

the moment before the doctor speaks when his sad eyes have already told you everything

the night she drowned you in a tidal wave of exquisite back-arching white-hot fellatio

quivering above an unfamiliar toilet bowl, cold air against clammy skin, your mind performing dizzying camera tricks as you vomit up that one drink too many

lying awake while she whimpers in her sleep and wishing you could join her in the dream to make things better

salt and sunburn and the gritty sound of sand between your teeth as an angry roaring wall of water looms above you

the night you buried your face between her breasts and warmed her skin with unexplainable tears

tiny sections of time which curl into memories