... and with those three words, it was over
22 years of self-doubt. 4 years of flawed relationships. And like the curtain lifted from the stage to dawn the second act; like the lead delivering his soliloquy, my catharsis, poured in three words.
The air has never smelled so sweet. The stars have never looked so beautiful. I finally knew my place. I could see everything I've been doing wrong. I can now see everything that I can do to make it right. I never realized how easy it would be -- how easy it's always been. How fucked up, trivial, menial, ridiculously inane the entire hang-up was. What was there to fear? Hanging on to something that wasn't there? I never really knew how to hang on to something anyway -- I have several failed relationships to attest for this. I only thought I was hanging on -- my hanging was suffocation, alienating those who I only wanted to be closer to. No longer.
I may be grasping at thin air. The next six or so weeks may be an entire disappointment – an experience in grasping futilely to something which doesn’t exist. If I fail, I’ll still succeed. I don’t care whether or not I successfully grasp the situation. The tantamount concept is that I've finally learned how to grasp.
and all it took was three words....