user since
Mon May 1 2000 at 00:52:36 (24.1 years ago )
last seen
Sun Nov 17 2013 at 01:46:59 (10.6 years ago )
number of write-ups
427 - View izubachi's writeups (feed)
level / experience
20 (Poobah) / 22134
C!s spent
mission drive within everything
University of Chicago
I've got your participation mystique right here.
most recent writeup
How to cure everything with rakija
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So 2009 will be a squalid year, a planetary hostage situation
surpassing any mere financial crisis, where the invisible hand of the
market, a good servant turned a homicidal master, periodically wanders
through a miserable set of hand-tied, blindfolded, feebly struggling
institutions, corporations, bureaucracies, professions, and academies,
and briskly blows one’s brains out for no sane reason.

-Bruce Sterling

(grafitti documented by PaulGreen)

&hope still, a little resistance always maybe, stubborn tiny lights vs clustering darkness forever ok?


"Mithin, sagte ich ein wenig zerstreut, müßten wir wieder von dem Baum der Erkenntnis essen, um in den Stand der Unschuld zurückzufallen? Allerdings, antwortete er, das ist das letzte Kapitel von der Geschichte der Welt."

I've got a hand.
So I've got a fist.
So I've got a plan, it's the best that I can do.
And now they'll say, "It's in God's hands."
But God doesn't always have the best goddamn plans, does he?

sly&shifty fr yr pleasur

Posmella says So ninja-like! It lands the C! of WOW with deadly accuracy! And gone, just as fast, leaving giggles in its wake. Like that, yo.

Ack! You lost consciousness!


23:08 <izubachi> Brainspark! Someone should start a pirateboys group to
contest the ninjagirls hedgemony. We could have squirt gun fights and

23:14 <Cool Beans> Good idea izubachi - but you guys are no rivals for us

23:14 <FeltTips> I want those who get to know me to be my admirers or my

23:15 <Cool Beans> we would kick serious pirate ass! (and you know it)

23:15 <Uberbanana> Can't i just be indiffernt?

23:15 <Cool Beans> Felty, back me up here :)

23:16 <Palpz> no indifference allowed! Choose now or perish!

23:16 <FeltTips> Friend or Foe!!!!!!!?

23:16 <izubachi> Dudette, we have Captain Jack Sparrow on our side and ya dare
to talk trash? Not savvy.

23:16 <FeltTips> I will gladly kick little skinny pirate boy butt.

23:17 <izubachi> You'll be kicking water as you flail a mere ten feet from the
shore demonstrating the well-known precept that ninjas can't swim.

23:18 FeltTips does not flail

23:18 <Cool Beans> Yes, but we have JayPea & LPM - they would kick Captain
Jack's ass any day, aye

23:19 <Uberbanana> I think I'll stick with the nublies. Any chance I can get.
And no, ninja don't swim. they run on water.

23:19 <izubachi> We also have cannons.

23:19 <Raspy> I'm a guy, but I hate pirates. What should I do? I want to be a
ninja who wails on guitars and flips out and kills people... especially

23:19 Andromache01 kidnaps Captain Jack for... ninja purposes. And the rum.

23:20 <izubachi> (As an aside, it's really depressing that I'm trying to
defend pirates as better than ninjas and I assure you I would never do
something so gauche under normal circumstances)

23:20 <Uberbanana> Looks like a turf war is breaking out again.

23:20 <izubachi> You have to admit though, Captain Jack's a pretty prime
player to have on your team.

23:21 <FeltTips> surf and turf, if you ask me....

23:21 <Cool Beans> Ninjas don't kill, we just kick ass & throw ninja stars &
stuff - and sorry Raspy, but no boys allowed

23:21 <Cool Beans> Felty, corny, but i laughed ;)

23:22 <Palpz> sorry Raspy, only the chix0rz can be ninjas. and only then the
cool ones

23:22 <Cool Beans> Andro ++

23:22 <izubachi> And Orlando Bloom too! He's not particularly competent, but
we can use him as...*summons a weighty British accent and an elvish
facial expression*..."A diversion."

23:22 <FeltTips> it's my personal style explained: so corny as to be
positively cool

23:22 <Palpz> Guns don't kill people, ninjas kill people.

23:23 <Raspy> Well I'm gonna build my OWN clubhouse with no GIRLS allowed,
only sweet ninja DUDES. And we WILL kill people. Lots of people. And
we'll wail on guitars and bone sweet babes.

23:23 <izubachi> The ninjagirls'll be all like, "KILLKILLKILL!" and then we'll
send Orlando out there to stand around and sport a copious amount of
blonde hair and while they're all swooning we fire the cannons.

23:23 <Uberbanana> Well then I guess I have to throw in with the pirates,

23:24 <FeltTips> you've heard of flying the black flag? Take no prisoners?
Ninja girls fly the black panties. It just means the same thing.

23:24 cswiii just thinks about ninjas and his head explodes. Sweet!

23:24 <Andromache01> You can keep Bloom. His Keith Richards impersonation is
nowhere near as good.

23:25 <Uberbanana> I'm soo torn!

23:25 <Cool Beans> Orlando schmorlando, Andro'll have him kidnapped before he
can smile his elvish smile :)

23:26 <FeltTips> as in "Hoist the moist black panties girls and pick 'em off
one at a time"

23:26 <izubachi> You know, it's really not fair if you kidnap all our secret
weapons. Just not kosher at all.

23:27 <Uberbanana> But ofcourse Only Jack Sparrow can compare with Tim Curry

23:27 <Uberbanana> Your powers have no...power over him!

23:27 Palpz kidnaps Cthulhu

23:28 <Uberbanana> Nooo, squidface!

23:28 <izubachi> That's the spirit, Palpz!

23:28 heppigirl tsks. Orlando in a blonde wig may be droolable, but a
ninjagirl needs more than spunkiness, and to be honest, orlando is a
little thick

23:29 <Raspy> Pfef. Orlando has no charisma. Did anyone see that dreck Kingdom
of Heaven?

23:29 Palpz subsequently gets eaten by Cthulhu

23:30 <izubachi> DAMMIT Palpz.

23:30 <Cool Beans> well stop trying to use good looks as weapons then, and get
some REAL secret weapons, or else we'll unleash our boobies on you guys
and see how you hold up!

23:30 Andromache01 flutters her lashes at the Squiddy One.

23:30 <Raspy> I could carve a better man out of a banana.

23:30 archiewood is surprised to see no G.R.O.S.S. usergroup, and calls dibs
on dictator-for-life when there is one

23:31 <heppigirl> MACHINE GUN JUBBLIES?!

23:31 <izubachi> HA! I am immune to boobies. Tough titties!

23:32 <izubachi> WHAT GOOD DOES YOUR JIGGLING DO YOU NOW, HMMM?!?!!!?!11?

23:32 <Uberbanana> Then I call President-in-charge-of-negotiaions.

23:32 <wertperch> Actually, it was Roosevelt, who said he could "carve a
better spine" out of a banana

23:32 <Cool Beans> yes, but we'll weaken the rest of your pirateship Izu.

23:33 <Uberbanana> I will bravely confront the boobies!

23:33 Palpz is totally not immune to the boobies. Alas

23:33 <heppigirl> orlando would be a good addition to the ninjagirl
mansion.... he could lick and polish our ninjaboots...christ. I haven't
woken up yet

23:33 FeltTips 's nipples pries apart the deck, nail by nail


23:34 <Cool Beans> Palpz - you're already eaten alive! Stay dead, dammit

23:35 <Uberbanana> Izu, that wasan't in the pamplet!

23:35 <Palpz> Sorry. Can't activate anything. Busy pondering Felty's
impressive nipplework

23:35 <Cool Beans> too late cap'n - Felty's sprung you a leak starboard,
you're going under, fast

23:35 <FeltTips> you should see when it's cold

23:36 Andromache01 , in a fit of unspeakable cruelty, unleashes ABBA on the

23:36 <Palpz> C'mon Cool Beans, what part of eaten alive don't you understand.
Oh. I guess the alive part.

23:36 <izubachi> The boobies are only a feint, dammit! Pull yourself together

23:37 <Uberbanana> ABBA! How? Why?

23:38 izubachi falls to his knees in despair as his ship sinks around him.
Curse these fools and their overactive libidos...

23:38 <Cool Beans> dam - the pirates are getting smart. How did that happen?

23:38 <Cool Beans> yay! Ninjas win again

23:39 <izubachi> First you make me defend pirates, then you kidnap our most
prized weapon, then you kidnap our somewhat prized weapon, and now you
abuse the power of the doomboob... *sniffles in defeat*

23:39 Uberbanana throws himself at the enemy in a desperate attempt to get
their attantion. "Don't worry about me lads, I'll be fine! Save yer

23:39 <Raspy> Our fatal weakness, men, is that we outnumber them by more than
double. Ninjas just kick more ass when outnumbered.

23:39 <Cool Beans> /hoists the jolly roger in memoriam of the defeated boys :(

23:40 FeltTips gazes down at her Uniboob of Doom

23:41 Palpz bows his head in shameful bitter defeat

23:42 FeltTips tucks away the leathal weapon and buttons up to the top button

23:42 <izubachi> Could you at least share Captain Jack with me? He's bi and
you know it.

23:43 <Palpz> Nooo felty, don't do that :(

23:43 <Palpz> confounded buttons, always gettin' in the way

23:43 Uberbanana declares war on buttons!

23:44 Andromache01 passes the Captain over to Izu, with her compliments.

23:44 <izubachi> Yay!

23:44 izubachi beams like a boy on Christmas morning.

23:45 <Cool Beans> I guess we could share him with you Izu, if you're nice to
us :)

23:45 FeltTips sings, "he'll see that seaport Canadeeeio

23:46 <izubachi> You're certainly more reliable than my own gender.

23:46 Uberbanana wanders off into the sunset. Later news reports claim he was
eaten by a giant number 8.

23:47 <Palpz> anyhoo, fare thee well sweet noders

23:48 <izubachi> Okay, seriously guys and gals, I've been laughing so hard my
sides hurt. This is definitely going on my homenode. Thanks for the
especially high-quality silly!

23:48 <Cool Beans> night Palpz

23:49 <Cool Beans> damn you Izu, I'm going to be talking like a pirate all
night now :)

23:49 Uberbanana grins.

23:50 <FeltTips>'s driving me nuts! and the like.

23:51 <Cool Beans> yar, indeedy


Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs.

I want to love
anything, no matter what, everything.

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