so cold lately, like the winter is already here inside of me and the rest of the universe is still trying to tie up loose ends. it is seeping into my bones until i am stiff, alone. until my brain is numbed into some detached semi-conscious state.

i never realize until i am too involved - when my hands are rigid and my fingers curled to my palm. this need in me, a blue fire burning its way into my flesh. there is nothing about me except the heat that fills me, the pain. the cold that takes it all away.

i was warm an instant today, drinking in the sun - resting on the top of a subtle hill. it is there for me, i remember, when i really need it. there is a way the earth will cradle me when i am too tired. the insect chirp moist earth filling me and there was a thing i could do with my eyes. like a camera i thought, squinting the blades of grass into focus, staring through them into the sky.

slipping. i am tired of shoes and myself.

i miss new wave - and watching you walk away..