and so, i half-heartedly stumbled through the day..

it died. cold and alone, at some (what must have been peculiar) early hour, it left me, after everything we'd been through and i wasn't sure whether or not i cared enough to be upset about it or not. maybe i was just angry, irritated. i'd noticed its decline as of late, but it was not clear to me when it might finally slip from its place in the universe. but it did, just then, at some moment and oh i wish that i could have been there just to see how she died.

i was referring to my 15" monitor.

so we went into the city today, apparently they'd been planning to do so anyway so it was not an extra trip, and now i have this 17" monster. it is not my little 15" and there are no red lines across it, there is no periodic flickering.. i only wonder if i will be able to love it as i did the last. oh woe. actually i don't particularly care, i just thought i'd throw in some overly dramatic crap.

i got some material product today. my eye is twitching. i want a new pillow. i want to wake up with blood in my hand. i want i want i want i want to know how to not want. i do know how. i don't want. i just need. no i don't.

this whole crazy world is just too frustratin'.