replacing receivers lightly, i remember so fondly (for reasons i try not to understand) the way i would, she would, crashing hard lost, connection, as if we'd never had one. i heard it first inside i knew she would, she always called just before the moon left us. one would carry into the next shrill, ringing, always ringing, the first one i heard with eyes, i'd swear i could see it ring before it was audible, mind's ear, perhaps.
and i would dread it. i was afraid to admit it but i would, sweat and shake and curse under dry breath. curse her, silent... this voice in my thoughts never could be. wouldn't let tension slip through fingertips to hot floor, cold feet, dead eyes she said mine were, but i felt so alive when she left me.

sat and wondered, upon life's bed,
why never one ring, always..
a chorus of phones and she could
pierce my senses with potent words,
destroy careless smile, slipping grasp,
drowning in her thought sea.